Ghost Weddings & Dark Traditions | Ladies & Tangents Talk Love & Life’s Big Moments

0:00

foreign hi hello we're on the road we're on the road literally but we're parked yeah don't worry we're being safe uh we're in my car which is probably evident because it's because of the evidence from the crypto zoology Museum of course three years ago your love we're sitting in the car outside of our show in New Brunswick New Jersey yes so hopefully it went well yeah so yeah can't tell can't see the future unfortunately that we hung out with two of our best friends oh my gosh our best friends Jerry and Sarah from ladies and tangents

1:00

you're obsessed with them I hope I hope it's returned no I think it is I just spent an hour talking to Jerry yeah real friends yes time talk all the time now so and we Polo each other we Polo each other hard hard let's get to the point with them last year because we're making this an annual thing yes so we have another Crossover with them what you're about to listen to in classic tgog fashion we're bad at math and so this was supposed to be part one but it's actually coming out a week after theirs so go check out actual part one actual part one on their feed from last Tuesday and then here's part two uh and it's like the creepy Bachelorette yeah as a young side of marriage being a Brian is behind us in the car um he's gone dark so he can't hear us no but it's not a ghost enjoy bye hi this

The Whisper

is two girls one ghost two girls one

2:00

girl that found it that sounded like so Sultry and better than here I think we need to hire you two to always do the whisper we were doing all that nipple talk before yeah so I got really into it turned on listen I have been waiting to tell you both something that I waited until this moment to do it okay so I I looked at my set my Saturn return I loogled it yes you know save save time combine words it's called the lunar Google that's where I found it so it told me the exact date and do you want to hear something crazy so my first one ever was when I was 29 okay okay I had not had any other ones and it was the exact day that we conceived my daughter day and it just so happened that that month was when we started putting things on Tick Tock to for the podcast and that

3:00

was when we were really like Tick Tock started really taking off and me and Jerry were having conversations like oh this might actually be a thing like February 3rd 2021 oh I have Goosebumps just talking about it popped up I was like what the [ __ ] we both missed our our Saturn return Sierra had a very very positive one yeah well but it was chaotic I will tell you it was it was chaos it was you're gonna have a baby also you're kind of getting sort of famous also and like tick tock's blowing up and people are trying to talk to you and this is happening and your career change yeah and so all of that was it was it all good things amazing yes but but a lot but it could be good that's what we found out that is it could be unless you're me yeah I did not I did not have a good one because mine was around the exact same time because our our birthdays are nine days apart so mine was maybe nine days out I think it was like the 21st or something of February but around that time I had just started

4:00

going to therapy in 2020 and so this was in 2021 when we were 29. and I had come to realize that my childhood was not what I thought it was that I had been experienced a lot more trauma than I had realized and the kind of therapy work that she was having me do um actually had the opposite effect on me and I um trigger warning almost took my own life so it was like not the same not the same it was like a lot but we talked about it in one of the episodes of the podcast it's like when that happened I felt like the tapestry of my life like I had started pulling strings and it all started to fall apart and a clump on the ground and I was like who am I what am I I'm nothing and but now I feel like I've gotten to build myself back up that was a hundred percent a turning point for me yeah wow yeah isn't it so wild that you have to like completely deconstruct your life and upbringing and

5:00

get to a deeper worse part place in order to rebuild yes as of the first time I started going to therapy sorry the first time I started to go to therapy my therapist was like this is gonna really suck I just want you to know that this is the only time that you've gone okay it's gonna suck for a while and I was like okay she's like you're gonna think it's going well it's gonna start sucking I just need you to be weird it's a part of it yes when I did that trauma treatment like I went to it because I was like I was having suicidal ideations and like I was like having panic attacks daily like it was miserable and I was like how can it get worse than this that's why I went into treatment and then they were like it's gonna get worse and it just continually I was like how how am I it feels like you shouldn't be alone set me home after this it's fine yeah 100 outpatient yeah I'm like why are you not why are you not

6:00

strapping me to a bed what it's almost like before you have been getting almost like a temporary fixes yeah putting Band-Aids Band-Aids over and this is like cracking the wall of water whatever we're just gonna knock this house down because there's entirely too much going on we gotta rebuild it from the ground yeah it's interesting because we've we've talked a lot about just like

The Brick Wall

manifestations and getting into like your astral body and meditating and we recently did an episode on someone Penny whitbrought who had this near-death experience that was just like so wild and one of the things that was in her case that's in a lot of other people's and that like we've discussed when people kind of go to that place and try to find what they need to work on when it comes to like trauma and just repressed memories is seeing a brick wall and that seems to be a Common

7:00

Thread where like you take one brick off and you deal with that one brick and sometimes that brickets before we ever did that episode I was doing EMDR for a lot of different experiences and I was working through a bunch and I feel it's I mean EMDR is absolutely incredible I am so curious to know what your experience is because she's doing it I just had one that I think you would find fast what's your capsule what is that oh what is that where you lock it away before you wrap up the sessions okay so we don't have a capsule necessarily it's more so like where's my safe space it's a it's like okay we're gonna take your inner child and put them somewhere where they feel comfortable rather than leaving them here um so I'm assuming that's what it is uh it's our grandma's house oh because I used to have sleepovers with her and we would color and we'd watch TV shows and she had the best silk cheetah

8:00

print pajamas that you've ever seen oh my God they look like a full suit though like in pajamas it was like long sleeves the collar silk uh ice cream oh my gosh so I'm in my pajama era like I want every night yes like I all day I'll wear the same sweatpants like sweatshirt all day every day for the sake like you know for the whole week but every night I want a new set of really nice pajamas yeah I love that for you I don't even sleep with pajamas on I sleep like in the nude but I think I'm gonna start just just wearing pajamas well you can wear them up until the point that you go to bed yeah these are my evening jammies we're my daytime jammies which is my sweats in the morning I have my daytime jammies my evening jammies and my sleep nakies

9:00

okay wait where's it what's yours your capsule oh okay so okay my safe space was a little bit so my safe space was an apartment that I went to look at it was like so beautiful um I didn't end up getting it but it was like I just could picture my whole life there and I had a bunch of foster kittens running around lovely okay but then I had so at the end when I would before like coming out of the EMDR I would lock all of my stuff into a capsule and I chose like a jewelry box that I had growing up so I would like shove everything in there and it was kind of really fun because I got to like I got to like punch the people who were like [ __ ] you and then like trap them in a box like shove it in there yeah try to scream and get out you can't yeah oh that's stuck

Physical Reactions

but what I was gonna say is that there was a point where I hit a brick wall like truly I was I saw like images from my life and I was having

10:00

like physical reactions like I felt like I was having ringing on my left side of my ear and then I felt like a tension on my left arm like someone had been grabbing it but then when I tried to dive deeper and feel those feelings and try to figure out why I was feeling those brick wall yeah brick wall every single time could not get past it and I was like you know what maybe we leave it here for now yep I just had to do that in my last session yeah yeah I swear I remember you telling me you tried to like grab one brick and it kind of like flew back like it sucks like it was like you're not we're not dealing with that yet so you're a very visual person too so similar to how yours was when I tell people like what I'm experiencing during EMDR they're like are you talking out loud and I'm like no I can't fathom it because it's all in your head nothing happens inside my head like that really nothing happened no but you're engaging your subconscious it's bizarre but back to the brick wall thing I know what you're talking about because I've seen those images before where they're showing the brick wall and only one

11:00

brick is out of place but the whole wall is destroyed essentially like it's not level yeah it's it's like only one thing can be a catalyst to set everything out be off kilter kind of stuff but I think I told this story on our patreon the my yes so I've been working through a lot of childhood trauma in regards to um some really unsafe people in my life and when I have nightmares or when I'm doing EMDR a lot of times I'm in the basement of their house and so I was really trying to work on like separating my husband from the unsafe people in my life and because he'll he'll do certain things like normal human emotions that my body registers as a trigger for what these people would do but she doesn't have the same outcome as them so it's not fair for either of us for me to have that

12:00

response okay so right yeah yeah and like you were saying there's a book I haven't read it but it's called the body holds the score and like even if you don't remember it your body does incredible and like when I think of some of these unsafe people my body goes completely stiff like something is sitting on me and something is holding me down and I feel like I'm gonna suffocate like even speaking on it right now I feel it and so when we're doing the cmdr I was in the basement I was hearing make yourself small hide I was seeing flashes of all the places that I used to hide and then I felt this overcoming like flush of relief and I heard myself saying you created a space that would be safe for her and I saw my kids running in the yard and they were playing and laughing and I was hearing like they can't hurt you no one can hurt you and so she stops

13:00

pauses asks me what I saw I tell her and she goes well maybe there's a reality where you ask your inner child to come and play with your kids and I was like I would love to do that thank you so much I'm sitting here and I'm like I can't wait to play with me because when she starts doing this is so wild because I I feel like we experienced ever like the same thing this is all the exact that's spooky that's why I talk about it because like other people's experience with EMDR is very different it's not a one size fits-all thing but when if you do have the kind of mind where you are a very visual person and you are very open to it it is powerful as [ __ ] yeah so she has me go back in to ask myself and myself gets pissed so that was scary I'm back in the basement and I'm speaking to this black mist

14:00

and I'm saying like you can come out you don't have to try it for me by the way it was so [ __ ] scary like it was like is my iPad over there oh no I I put it over oh I actually have it on my phone I'll show it I'll send it to you but um I was like you can come out you don't have to hide and the Mist was literally going like this almost that's what my body was feeling like when a dog backs off and doesn't want to get in a bathtub they like put their legs up and like that's what my body was doing and I was trying to talk to it and be like your stage now you can come out and this thing goes she's she stops and I said I want to let you know that I am no longer obviously in the MDR I'm talking with my therapist I go but I feel like the Mist is pissed off and it wants me to tell you that you think you know what you're doing you think that me

15:00

coming out you want to say it's safe well the whole reason that it's safe is because I stay here because I look out I protect us I listen for all the sounds so you can have your nice beautiful little life uh you're not going to make me do something that I don't want to do I'm going to stay right here and I'm going to keep doing my job because my job is to keep us safe and that's what I'm doing which breaks my heart because your inner child like your child like no child should have to do that well and that's why I said she goes so little you has been very compliant this whole time what's changed and I go I don't think it's little me I think it's teenage me I that's so funny I have totally had the the child version in teenage me and teenage me is a [ __ ] is so funny because she was explaining it to me and obviously we grew up together so I was like that honestly really does sound like teenagers she was so scary well I've seen tick tocks where people must have gone through the exact same thing because I've seen a few where it's like the adult version talking to like

16:00

the four-year-old version and they're like best of buds and then the teenage person comes in the room and they're both like 100 100 this was like I just sent it to you it was this is what I was talking to and it was hiding underneath the stairs

The Mist

wait this looks like a cover of scary stories to tell in the day something that she had to go well because I talked to it I went I'm like listen I physically feel the anger that the Mist was feeling uh-huh like I I'm just telling you this is not this this isn't happening and she's like okay hey you know what uh she goes has anyone tried to like find you during hide and seek or did you have an imaginary friend and I said no none of that and you even trying thinking you're gonna trick it out of its place is like making it even more angry I like how you call it it even though you know even though you know it's you but it feels it it truly feels like a

17:00

separate part of it yeah yeah keep referring to it as the Mist and she uh she's like okay you know what maybe today's not the day it doesn't want to come out that's totally fine um we'll just go back in let it know that it can stay there and then we'll we'll close out the session and I'm like I want to go talk to it again so we go back in and I'm like hey Misty girl um so I just want to say thank you so much for all you're doing you're doing a great job I am so sorry for trying to force you out before you were ready black looks so good on you by the way so that is your color I said I'm just gonna keep doing what I'm doing out here just and when you're ready when you finally believe that we're safe you come on out until then you do you and the Mist was like thank you and I said you're welcome can I see your face and it said not a chance nice try and I

18:00

went okay having this banter back and forth with you with myself that is the wild thing is like it's all

The Basement

you're doing all this in your subconscious and it's fully it's you fully are doing it like you are going into some weird plane within your mind and in the universe and having these what does yours look like like do you see a full basement or a structure because mine all have outlines of things but there's like a black almost water-based it's kind of like the stranger things when she goes into that black space yep yeah but then it has structure like outlines of structures so a lot of times depending on what I'm thinking about or what what is coming up um I will see full scenes but it's almost like the edges are like blurred yeah that makes

19:00

sense like it's like a set yeah it's like I'm looking back into a memory it's like if you in in TV shows where they show like memories and there's like a cloud around it to show you that it's like from a different time that's kind of what it's like when I was and sometimes they're really fast sometimes they're really fast sometimes it's just a person's face like the one time I was thinking about someone who I won't say but we could probably all just guess was in my face in doing this and calling me little girl and telling you think you know everything little girl and just like going on and on and I was just sitting there trying to get away from the finger but yeah sometimes it's just a face sometimes it's the whole basement like I can see where the false wall they were they were remodeling so they were going to put up walls I don't even know if they're finished yet but when I was in there and in my memory they're unfinished so it's just the the wood before the drywall so I see that I see I'm behind the stairs and I can see through the stairs because they're also

20:00

unfinished and so yeah it's it is like I've memorized everything in my surrounding and that is what anchors me in those places because that is what I had to focus on you had to focus yeah right I had one experience and this is kind of around the time that I had the brick wall so people are probably going to read into this um but I was in this like kind of black space and I was trying really hard to like access the feelings that I was having the ringing in my ear and the arm thing and I saw a baby but it was so far away and I couldn't get to it and the brick wall kept blocking me from like from getting to the baby whoa that's so Saddles I know wow yeah looking at me very seriously were you do you think you were the baby or is it an a difference situation see it's hard right because

21:00

I think in my gut I do think I was the baby but but also because I wasn't able to get past that wall I have no idea right right oh that's what's tough it's like you're you're seeing all of these things and you're like I'm trying to send myself messages but what the [ __ ] am I talking about yeah like I need to get one of my dog like I just need to get through this thing just let me get through it obviously you know obviously I know the answers why aren't I just saying them it's be cryptic why am I leaving right code for myself you're misleading yourself oh yeah God damn okay the coolest thing though and this is just like advocating for EMDR I had one experience specifically that I really really worked on and I had the most incredible experience where I brought in my my safe people actually I brought in Korean and Korean like literally beat people up I'm the muscle baby didn't I Crush someone with my thighs no no wow when I come in when I meditate into

22:00

yours you'll know it's me hijacking your thing when I'm like like watermelons baby I love that next time I do it I will tell them hard not to know um but I had this moment where my therapist was like do you want to bring in more support and all of my support people are women so I brought in all the women including my grandmother who died like three years ago four years ago and I just remember all of the women building a circle around me putting like like a blocker between me and the people and it was so beautiful because my grandmother was standing right in front of me and looked at me and said it's okay it's go you're okay and now oh I'm gonna cry but like now when I think of that memory my mind immediately goes to

23:00

this new like thing that my mind built this beautiful moment of my grandmother and all the women in my life who were so supportive no but it I mean it's beautiful I'm crying because it is so powerful yeah yes that's incredible yeah you don't people EMDR seems like such a scary thing and it is because you have to be ready to face the things that have have made you feel such intense emotions for so long and it is a traumatic experience that's why it caused you to create these coping mechanisms but at the same time you get to take your power back like you get to decide how that story ends now and that's why I get so excited to do I was so scared at first but I'm so much more powerful than the memories and so yeah hardcore advocating for amdr I love it

24:00

it is interesting when you were talking about the Misty version of you kind of like hiding in the corner hiding under the stairs it makes me think I think maybe we've told you this before but of my co-worker my or my old co-worker now you're my only co-worker but my I had a previous co-worker who was is she's just like very magical she's very powerful very in tune she's but she has so much respect for other people and like their stories and so she's never intrusive on like you know like she could touch you and read all of your trauma and your emotions and know everything about you but she only does that if you give her permission too which I haven't because I'm not ready to face switch and tells me about my she can touch me please one of the things she does yeah take me now yes I am wide open for you yeah but she does something that I feel like must be very similar to people who

25:00

either are not an EMDR or are like hitting a wall where she'll go into that world herself through meditation and she'll find the chipped off pieces of people who are hiding in the dark and bring them for coax them forward so that that person can work through it in therapy yes wow I've heard this before and I never had that thing I need to I need to do this podcast I haven't yet her and I are taking a class right now actually about like ancestral healing and calling to your ancestors who are also now like your Spirit guides but then also helping people think about how you were in this class yeah I've only taken two two classes so far so I don't have any more information to tell you but it's like every two weeks we're doing it so we'll have have more and it tells me that the Mist would be furious at the attempt conscious me is like that's amazing because that's what I said to my therapist I go hey I don't want to talk [ __ ] about me but me's being kind of a

26:00

dick I don't understand she goes you're just not ready and I go I but I am conscious me is ready conscious me wants to subconscious me I don't know what their problem is okay they're like oh I remember that's the problem it's so wild how your Consciousness and subconscious can just completely be at odds with each

Soul

other yeah yes well okay have you seen the movie Soul like the Disney I've been picturing that the whole time you were saying that she goes into this meditative State yeah I pictured the like the the sign twirling guy yeah yeah right yeah he's just meditating on the on the side yeah totally but like that's the thing they go in their ship and they're like wandering through the field of lost chipped off souls and many of them are still people who are alive but like there's this one scene that I remember where they are trying to approach one of those things and it's it is this like dark shadowy Misty monster where lasso it and coax it and capture it yeah

27:00

essentially like it might not go willingly ever yeah well that's what I wonder too because everything everything that the Mist was saying and doing and and what I felt when I was interacting with it was everything that I felt when I was probably 13 and my parents were um in their like first trial separation and forcing me to go to therapy and the therapist was not listening to me and I did not feel like they cared I did not feel like they knew what was best for me I didn't feel like I could be 100 forthcoming because adults at that point in time were not safe for me right to share anything with and so that is where that part of me still that part of me still believes that is that there are people who just are not safe and it's like you can try and convince me all you want but I'm I'mma be here doing my job what I've done forever keeping us safe

28:00

yeah but there's gonna be some skepticism yeah yeah wow there's okay this is not EMDR related but I'm gonna tell you this which Sabrina's now heard like three times oh my God it's so incredible it happened to me very recently last time you and I and Sabrina and all of us we were all here I said I meaning like like you are the an IMU yes but then I was like I should probably specify okay but last time we did an official crossover I told you guys about in middle school when I was being bullied and just like the most horrific way and I started kind of crying as I was describing it as we do and it was like obviously very wrong painful and something I clearly never dealt with and still haven't but it was like a comfortable thing that I just put aside and was like I'm fine not really remembering what happened but clearly my body remembers because I cry when I talk about it but I don't have too many memories of it anyway during that period

29:00

of time so when I was like 12 and 13 for two years straight there would be this woman who would come out of the corner of my room that is it's like my closet door in a mirror and she would come and she'd have like long dark hair and she was taller than I was and she'd wear like long flowy dark clothing and she looked so freaking scary I could never see her face it was like kind of like Misty but I knew she was probably I would have pegged her as being like somewhere between like 30 and 45. like that's kind of the general age that I thought this woman was and she despite her scary appearance and where she came out of she would come over and she was just like so softly kind of stroke my hair and make me feel calm and I would feel calm I would stop crying and I would go to sleep and she probably came out of this corner I don't know it was on and off for two years so maybe I might have seen her like actually seen her like 12 times that's a lot that is a lot how bad was your waking experience

30:00

with your bullies that this terrifying woman in the corner was soothing yeah you're like I'll let you touch me only me to kill myself so she was yeah she was in my safe space yeah yeah yes anyway over Easter a few weeks ago I'm

Easter

at my childhood home that I go to you know every couple months and I change so like the my bedroom faces the the like public Street and so when I change in my bedroom I usually don't like to turn off the lights and I'm not that shy as you guys yeah in front of a camera it's totally fine in front of a window in front of a window I'm trying to like maintain my parents reputation of not having like being the naked member's daughter yeah

Its Me

um so I go into the corner and I change and over Easter as I'm changing I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I go holy [ __ ] it's me oh and it's not me

31:00

right now but it's about to be like I am I am becoming her like I have my my long dark hair I'm always wearing flowy clothing and I caught the Glimpse and I was like it's me and I'm standing in the exact corner I have like full body chills so I don't know when I I enjoy the space and and finally face what happened but I keep coming realize because we've talked about this a couple times what if well too because I think we both are trying to tap more into our abilities and you know astral plane work yeah one I'm like Corinne you're gonna Master it and you're gonna be able to go back and visit your you're gonna be a time traveler yeah or two maybe what if like in a couple years you do do EMDR or something and when you are revisiting these memories you are actually going back oh I have chills God everywhere right now yeah

32:00

I mean this happened when I was 12. we're 29 now so for up until two weeks ago I always thought this was a spirit guide or like it was always a ghost it was separate from me just some scary looking like entity coming to comfort me and it just happened to be a scary looking figure I always thought of it as a ghost yeah until I realized it's actually future me within the next like 10 years that just made me like emotional tears yeah especially thinking about time not being linear yeah I know oh that's it's like you're Two Worlds just like collided in a way and now like I think your powers are just going to be like infinitely stronger because of you because you knowing it yeah it's a much Kinder

Scary Things

version than bent neck lady from um oh yeah but even that I mean you

33:00

worse I know it's a problem it is a problem so I'm kind of a [ __ ] so like I it's I can't watch scary things alone and my fiance is a bigger [ __ ] so he refuses to watch scary things with me so then I'm like I can't do this alone I will watch it with you let's do it watch it during the day in your office together yeah yeah and we'll record ourselves because I am I'm fun to watch watch scary movies because the whole time I'm like watching like this he reads scary things if this was a book I would read the [ __ ] out of it truly so honestly it is it is a book well we're down read the book then watch the show together yeah Gary yeah it's a little bit better for me I think it's just like when music is involved and there's like boom boom I will say the book is very different than

34:00

the show okay but um but yeah I will watch it I swear I will because everybody keeps talking about it and I'm like I know it's so good it's so horribly good yeah it was and it's not

Doppelganger

really like as much of a jump scare like there's definitely some audio occasionally but it's not it doesn't rely on that a lot of the scary things that are unveiled you're it's just more of like a mind [ __ ] where you're like but I will say the jump scares are jump scares they're they're there okay listen to it just you know low audio Yeah that's what I might have to do side when you know something's about to come so the screen's blurry um Tick Tock I don't know you're probably on there because I feel like you guys are on creepy Tick Tock so you know there we go do you see ever see those people that are making like what is it called where you see like your other form of you or whatever and I'll have doppelganger yes doppelganger like creepy Tick Tock so it'll be like someone washing dishes and then there's

35:00

like a thing that comes on the TV that's like uh if you see someone who looks close to you like don't oh I'm getting chills talking about it they creepy out every time I see them and I never like them because I'm like why are they still popping up because I have to watch them because I'm curious but now I can't sleep today so anyways it'll be like that and then the girl will turn around from washing the dishes and peeking out of her closet is like her face smiling in this room dude I'm so serious talking about it I hate the ones with the mirrors oh yeah I was just gonna say so Greg and Dana

Scrying Mirror

Newkirk have this scrying Mirror Mirror basically these they're these paranormal artifact caretakers and enthusiasts and we've been obsessed with them for years and stock everything that they have at their Museum but so they have this mirror that people look into it and a lot of people see themselves do different weird creepy things yeah like people see like their face melt or like

36:00

their Reflections smile at them or another version of them will just like peek out smiling from behind from behind them yeah oh my God I had something like that happen but I was on mushrooms [Laughter] that's why I could never look at that Ayahuasca you know they see a whole spiritual experience yeah it was it was did that happen to me when I had sleep paralysis one time I was on FaceTime and I saw myself on the camera like what yeah I hate that yeah it was so creepy especially because when it happens it's not like a hi Jerry or hi like I love you I'm me it's creepy so creepy it's like can't control the neck moving in a really distorted way yes smiling getting really really close to the camera I remember waking up in my in my computer was closed and I was FaceTiming Shane

37:00

and so I was like when did we hang up and he goes you rolled over woke up and just closed it and I was like what the [ __ ] don't remember that I don't remember I'm really so scared that you were like oh my gosh I don't know maybe I thought I was like gonna get out of the computer and so I was like you're trapped yeah I mean well you don't want to be trapped in the computer or in a reflection like that's the thing that's so creepy too is I think it's a part of feng shui but I think it's also just a part of anyone who is I guess like in tune with paranormal that you're not supposed to have mirrors and like Reflections looking at each other yeah yeah it can trap Spirits or or you it can act as a portal and also if you're ever trying to banish something from your home it can give them a place to hide like they can hide within this sort of like your Realm no because I'm about to move into a new house and like I've been I'm felt nothing but good things in the house and

38:00

it is a newly built house so there was nobody that lived there before the people that are selling it to us so like I feel like you know there's not going to be any kind of someone died here or whatever but now that [ __ ] you could take them with you I no no don't do this no don't put that out there I gotta go look at all the mirrors and be like what's the mirror situation in this house

Hotel Room

ones that had in front of the bed so when you were asleep like if you were sitting in the bed you could see yourself and it was the one that I couldn't you've heard this but I was alone in the hotel room it was like midnight and the hotel phone kept ringing and anytime I would pick up it would just be like dead like static and then it would go to dial tone and it happened multiple times and I was like is someone like messing with me so I called the front desk and I was like hey my phone keeps ringing and they looked at the record and they were like no one's called your line

39:00

and so I immediately was so freaked out by the mirror I was just like I don't want to see anything I covered it yeah and nothing else happened but it was terrifying that's why we have room 1408 we've only just because oh no do you have to stop have you ever seen that movie no 1408 that's what reminds me of you get you're not supposed to stay in this room because you get trapped in it and then you end up going crazy and you take your own life and like while you're in there the phone rings you see things this song plays over and over again then it sounds like it's melting and you're you can't get out you can't get out of it it is horrifying so anytime I hear very yellow wallpaper I was just thinking that yeah anytime you hear anytime I hear the Carpenters We've Only Just because is that the song yes I do I know a little bit you know what's funny you guys say um you always cry whenever you talk to us and so do I but just because I'm scared like if my eyes are just like

40:00

filled with tears this entire time because I'm so scared oh my gosh but yeah the Carpenters are like equal parts when I hear them I get happy because like my mom used to listen to them and it's like a Nostalgia but also they've been featured in so many like creepy scary things and I'm like why would you date give off scary record players right yeah definitely yeah like a good old gramophone scene where I mean I guess they came far after the gramophone but that's what I picture it was super scary all those scenes Okay so music wise for your wedding have you put nice transitions supposed to be like The Bachelorette episode crossover thing and it's just we're just like Darkness actually I did go to a bachelorette in

Bachelorette

Hawaii and we were at breakfast and it was like the most like this is 30 Bachelorette we drank tea like there was very little drinking but we were at

41:00

breakfast one morning all talking about our childhood traumas and I like was re I'm listening to a book called adult children of emotionally immature parents and it is it is I tried to take notes and then I had to stop because I was like I'm just rewriting the entire book yeah so yeah but and then we just spent like an hour talking about that and now everyone else is listening to it and we've just been texting about it since I love that book club Bachelorette book club yeah my favorite thing honestly I actually had a uh psychic at my bachelorette party yeah you did yeah that is so has anything come true from what people were told I'm trying to think that was such a long time ago yeah well I have it all still on my phone I have we recorded her and then I broke it down into clips of who she spoke to and stuff and so one of the things that she said to me was

42:00

um are things like missing out of place like are you noticing stuff in your house like just randomly and at that point in time like my dryer door was opening a lot like just out of nowhere and it wasn't a con it wasn't like a a frequent thing that happened it wasn't like the dryer was broken um I remember coming home one night and a book had come off of the bookshelf and the way it was sitting on the floor like it didn't make sense for it to fall and again like nothing else was Disturbed um there was just several several things that had happened and she's like there is a man and he's very very connected to you he's passed and um she brought up him being indigenous and I was like that's my grandpa um and she's like he he knows that this is a very big moment for you he knows

43:00

this is a very exciting thing that's happening and he just wants you to know that he's here and so he's just like kind of playing little pranks on you and that was very very common for him he was a big jokester like we never met him he passed before we were born yeah our parents were like teenagers when it happens but I am named after him and I've heard a lot I always heard from our grandma like your grandpa Jerry would have loved you like you guys are Kindred Spirits you're so so similar so it was just really special that like I had never met him before but he who played pranks a lot in his living life was kind of interacting with me in that way and is after life after past life maybe maybe you showed up as his past life maybe that's beautiful well and now I feel like you know since he was clearly around so much at that time of like the transition into a new part of

44:00

your life where you were about to get married and start a family and all that sort of stuff I feel like that's just a sign that whenever anything feels heavy and hard and things are changing you can just like he's probably still there just yeah ready to light in the mood yes ready to delete the mood yes I have you just reminded me of a ghosty story that I want to tell you now because you said you saying like all of these new things happening and all that uh my fiance God love him so much but he is a bit of a skeptic he says but he's not like he's yeah he's psychic himself he honestly he predicted I was pregnant before I like when we I think it was probably three or four days before I found out that I was pregnant we reported the Valentine's episode and I drank like two white claws because again I had been trying for nine months and it had happened once but um then I had a miscarriage and so we had kind of given up trying like we were just kind of like whatever it's not gonna happen

45:00

for us and that's fine and so I was drinking white clothes um when we get home when we got home I was like maybe I'll have another one I don't know and he's like I don't think you should drink and I was like why and he goes because you're pregnant he said that he said that in the basement yeah you went to go to the bathroom and he was like Siri you're pregnant I don't want I don't think you should be drinking and I was like what are you talking about like that don't say that because we again this was not something you would have said lightly because um the severity of what had just uh right right yeah right yeah he knew how bad we both wanted it so I was like don't say that to me right now but also I I kind of believe I remember he was oh my God he was kind of being a skeptic about like woo-woo [ __ ] I don't know if we were talking about horoscopes or what we were talking about yeah I think we were yeah something about horoscope psychics tarot and he was very very skeptical which Sierra and I are like don't don't you dare because these are our people don't make them out of us and and also this is what we believe is yeah leave us alone well then he said the

46:00

comment about her being pregnant and I said if she's pregnant you have to get on here and apologize because see you're a psychic did he yeah yes because then he realized I cut out everything he said yeah he didn't like publicly but he apologized to us because now I I think he's really leaning into it and he still will kind of be like no I'm not but he is so story so this is what happened so um and his mom is very connected like he's told us I know my mom is like kind of either psychic or she's got some kind of like yeah she's very all of these things that'll happen with like um any kind of paranormal anything happens to her and they've all witnessed it happen so anyways we were sitting uh we had just gone out to eat and we had margaritas and Tacos so like everybody's been feeling good and his parents are at our house and we're just talking about like his mom was asking about Easter plans and she's like oh can I get those kids our kids Easter baskets back because she had made them like these little um cut out carrot like things with their

47:00

names on them Easter baskets like very Etsy style yeah and she's like I want them for their to connect to their next Easter baskets and we're like yeah let me see if I can find him I said I don't know if I can find Sawyers I was positive that I saw my dogs chew it up because it was like wood so they were obsessed with trying to get them and I swear to God I remember seeing it like broken and crumbled on the floor and throwing it away and being like Oh damn that was really cute and now it's gone whatever I found my sons immediately Corey's like I don't think we have Sawyers I can't find it anywhere and we've looked for like the past three months what whatever so she's about to leave and she goes to sit like stand up and underneath her on the couch is the name tag fully like just sitting right there she's like when I sat down it wasn't there and we all were like normally my house was messy it had just been cleaned so like it wasn't like we couldn't see it but she goes is this it

48:00

and we're all like what the [ __ ] and then uh she goes this is your grandma she's telling you that she's here and that she sees Sawyer and she's proud of you and I started balling Corey is bawling like because his grandma had just passed away like a couple years before I met him and he goes that's so weird because a couple nights ago I had a dream that was a dream but then he came downstairs and then all of a sudden it was like it wasn't a dream it was almost like a memory and he said my grandma was standing in this house by our Christmas tree and I walked over and she took my hands and she was like I'm so proud of you and everything you've done and she kissed him on the cheek and he was like I'm just sad that we're moving out of this house because this is the last place where I saw my grandma like it wasn't like he's saying like this is he saw her like she was there visiting him and yeah it was just crazy that oh that reminded me that is so beautiful and I also just don't understand how he could still be a skeptic he's not that's what he's I

49:00

think he says it because he knows it pisses me off yeah I'm hard to guess because I'm like don't he cried so hard that night and I was like I'm really loving this I love when men cry he was like I'm sorry I'm crying like this and I was like no come here onto mommy shoulders come on I love it so yeah it was really good um but it was just beautiful like oh my God which makes us that she sees us and that it's like you're doing well

The Name Tag

but like the actual the name tag like it makes me wonder what what happened to it like is this A reproduction of what you remembered being chewed up or right like was there some sort of like glitch in the major like how did she grab it from here a different time and brought it to like now set it down yeah because another one of you who's more willing to just like forget about it and not look for it she's like I'll take it from this timeline and drop it into it which honestly could have been any of it could be really probably yeah all of all the

50:00

other ones probably very easy to take it from any of them oh my gosh but it was so weird I was just like how in what world would that have happened like that because again they all looked at the couch before they sat down and it wasn't like hidden in a crack it was like plainly under her butt on the couch cushion so that was bizarre oh yeah I love stories me too yes that is so great I was gonna say you reminded me of my sister's story it's not again we're just completely going away from Weddings But my I told you guys my sister yeah this is ghosty stuff pregnant yeah and I remember when she told me she was pregnant um which we've mentioned to you that it's not a uh it wasn't planned and it's not been a smooth road yeah and so there's a lot there was a lot of fear in the beginning and a lot of stress and um she kept saying Jerry I keep seeing two two two two two two two everywhere and I said grandma died on February 22nd

51:00

uh-huh and she just kind of looked at me and we from the very first moment she said she was pregnant we were like it's a girl and all me my other sister there's three of us we all have boys there's three boys no girls and we're like Randy you're having I said that too like right off the bat I was like you know it's a girl you're having a girl and it feels like Grandma's telling you like you're gonna have a girl and she's gonna be a bad [ __ ] because we talk about our grandma being like this is really very strong feminist just like yeah bad [ __ ] yeah and um so one day I was driving to work and I had this thought pop into my head again we don't know the gender of the baby the sex of the baby and I hear Dove as an in my head like I wonder if Randy would like the name Dove for a baby and so I work whatever go home she watches my kids and I said let's name your baby right now let's name it she's

52:00

like Siri we don't even know what it is and I was like we're gonna I don't care we're gonna name your girl we know and she I said do you have a list of names and she said yes so she pulls them up and she's like I don't know if you're gonna think this is weird um dove and I was like shut the [ __ ] up I literally just thought of this name the on the way to work and obviously not a very common name and so I freak out we go we're like all right we'll entertain other names because we were really struggling to find a middle name and then I don't know if it was that night or the next night she's driving to work she's also a waitress so she's on her way to her restaurant job and a dove is sitting on her car and it won't leave on the right Shield like right at where the windshield wipers are sitting there as she's driving it rides the whole entire way with her by the way she she's took a Snapchat video and she's just cracking up laughing because this dove will not

53:00

get off the phone oh my God holy crap if there's ever like that is that is a hard sign right right it's like wow it has to it has to be a girl yeah it has to and so we just had an agenda we just had her gender reveal on Saturday and little pink balloons came out oh my God that makes me think that Grandma is also with Dove and is like oh I'll I'll help you with the duration for 100 which reminds me remember when we were in Salem and I got a reading so I got a reading we both got readings but this woman told me that she saw my grandmother with a little girl on her lap and she said she's holding she's with your daughter and she's hanging out

54:00

with her until you're like until it's time for her to be in your life oh my God I love it well that's kind of what we thought about she's having a girl first yeah [Laughter] wow okay but before that I don't know before before we choose my child today before you have a baby marriage then comes baby as far as that old rhyme goes not for me though not for me

Traditions

um actually you're probably going to want to screw tradition after we tell you yeah we want the morbid route yeah we're with the darkness behind marriage and there's a lot it's like it's [ __ ] up and I will say there's a bit of a

55:00

trigger warning because there's assault kidnapping violence and a lot of sexism involved in these uh facts that's why I love that I'm not having a very traditional wedding and if anybody asks why I'll be like do you even [ __ ] know about Traditions okay do you want to know with my couples all the time they're like so we're gonna do this at this time and in this way and I'm like do you really want to be like I mean a lot of a lot of traditions have to do with back in the day men would kidnap women and marry them in secrecy and get them pregnant and basically keep them hidden away so their dads couldn't come get them or their families couldn't come get them and then once they were married or once the woman was pregnant they'd bring them back into society and they'd be like look we're married already now I need your Dowry and you have to pay me dad oh my God it was like it was like stealing but in a really gross way

56:00

blackmail yeah like that is terrible and that's also where the best man comes from because the guy who would steal the woman needed like security or like a bodyguard and he would have a friend be The Bodyguard in case the family came after their daughter the friend would be there as the muscle ew my muscle is Corey's twin brother it's so perfect identical twins that's a good plan yeah no I'm over here okay but it's just so [ __ ] up because like for for the male side of things back in the day it was like the two men are teaming up to kidnapped kidnap a woman and ensure that she doesn't escape but the reason like Bridesmaids traditionally existed they would wear all white so that if on their path to actually get

57:00

married so like not the kidnapped version of married but well probably still a little bit like whatever deal was struck by the parents to you owe this amount and here is my daughter yeah the daughter would travel to the man and on their travels there was often times more kidnappings a lot of uh assault and thievery and and all of that sort of activity and there is fear of spiritual intervention in a way that like there was a lot of uh Superstition around like dark Spirits trying to curse Brides yeah as they Traverse through the woods so the bride would bring all of her best girlfriends as bridesmaids they would all wear white wedding gowns to try to track the spirits and trick the people to confuse people to confuse people so it's like the women are taking one for the team being like well maybe I'll be possessed or I'll be captured but you'll be safe but you'll be fine and then the men on the other side are like I'll I'll help and share No One escapes us okay

58:00

I'll tell you what that's a good friend is a down ass lady and they're like I'll wear the same dress and if I get possessed I get possessed it's all for you yeah but nowadays it's like don't wear white it's the bread the bride is the only one getting possessed yeah white is so funny because it's it's a symbolism of virginity and Purity right yeah oh my well in that case no one should be wearing white I surely won't be ivory cream yeah there's so many [ __ ] up things um I like how we were like oh wouldn't it be fun if we do a crossover because Corinne and Sierra are getting married and we can do it about marriage and we're like a bachelorette fun and we're like great let's put together this episode and it's all just like darkness and terrible terrible [Laughter] to be fair uh with wedding planning

59:00

that's just it's also been kind of terrible dark things honestly I don't understand how people enjoy wedding planning I hate it I got a wedding planner and God bless her she's amazing because she's like this is fun for me I love this stuff and I'm like this is my actual nightmare like there is nothing that I want to do less thank God if it is a job for someone else yes I I hate every moment of it honestly I feel like telling the Dark Side of all of the Traditions takes the pressure off of having the Traditions do them present day yeah yeah and you don't have you don't need the perfect day because the perfect day back in the day was like just don't get kidnapped definitely not free yeah Saturdays were believed to be the worst day to get married it was supposed was the day that was supposed to be the best day to get married enjoy interesting

1:00:00

I love that they said Wednesday and I thought oh because of alliteration wedding Wednesday that makes sense and you go [ __ ] dick maybe maybe both it has double meaning I love that um also that's just to say this doesn't mean that following Traditions is not great because no yeah you can and and they don't oh they now oh my gosh words now they don't mean all of these things right you know and people like it's kind of an A La Carte thing now where you get to pick and choose but at least that's how I'm treating mine too yes and absolutely none of that are there any Traditions are you doing any traditional things for your wedding well Brian is Jewish so we're doing the breaking of the glass during the ceremony yes which I'm excited about

1:01:00

because I've been to Jewish weddings and they are so much fun they look like so much fun yeah we're not like bringing it into the reception it's just gonna be part of the ceremony but like there's no Rabbi that like my brother is officiating yeah I love that yeah we have a friend appreciating the only thing we're doing and that's tradition you're not wearing a veil oh I'm not wearing a veil um reason being is I just you know in Mean Girls when Katie Herron dresses up as like the Dead bride yeah so I dressed up as Katie Herron dressing up as the Dead bride um and so when I was like three years ago for Halloween and send you a picture it's so good yeah when when I was at the wedding store with my mom we were trying on all these veils and both her and I were like we can't unsee me dressed as Katie Herron dressed as the Dead bride so we're like we just don't even need the valve but just for the back it's never it's

1:02:00

not gonna you never dressed up as a dead bro yeah the veils used to be truly like their intention was to hide the what the bride looked like for because a lot of marriages were arranged and the men and the man and woman wouldn't see each other until the wedding and so they would cover the I like the appearance of the woman so that the man didn't know what the woman looked like what his bride would look like until after they were married which is why people tell me that they don't want to do a first look I'm like do you understand what the tradition is of seeing you the first time they see you is at the altar it's so they couldn't run well that's what Corey's gonna do yeah he doesn't want to do a first look he wants to do I want to see you walking down it comes in as saying like you can do something traditional without it but we are going to have the veil over my face yeah he knows what you look like yeah he's been he's been there done that you

1:03:00

know yeah like if someone genuinely is like I want to see you coming down the aisle then beautiful but if someone's like tradition says I can't see you yeah that to me is two different things yeah like do it because you want to not because tradition tells you to because the tradition's weird yeah tradition is so weird yeah it is and I feel like it's a hard thing I don't know what the future Generations will experience but I feel like our generation is the one that's kind of really pushing back against tradition and so I think weddings can be a weird thing where like grandparents and and other people are are pretty firm on what they think your day will look like I'm very lucky in that I haven't had all that much drama but from from seeing other people's wedding plan I've seen a lot of people who have had to bring Traditions back in that they really didn't want that are super Antiquated and mean nothing to them as a couple

1:04:00

because someone else is just like so freaked out that this tradition that they don't even understand the background of isn't going to happen yeah see I've had people I haven't had anybody really giving like pushback or too much like opinion about it but I have had people tell me one time like oh it's your wedding do it however you want there's no right or wrong blah blah and then within like in the next week they're like you're not gonna have a of this you're not going to deal with this and I was like wait you just told me that there was no right or wrong so when I say I'm not doing this you're like whoa I didn't I didn't think you were gonna do like do whatever you want but also do what I want yeah and know and know what I want without me telling you what I want it's like well I'm not on Pinterest so I don't know I haven't seen that like the biggest pushback I got was not getting married in a church and it's because I was raised Catholic Oh I'm definitely not and I was like we're not getting married in the church because Shane's not Catholic yeah and I don't

1:05:00

feel comfortable everything that they stand for I don't stand for so I don't want to do that because that just seems performative and I don't want my wedding to be performative right oh my goodness little sweetie the one thing I don't think there's I don't do we know what the tradition of Wedding Bells even is maybe it's just a church thing well I wrote Sierra and I did an episode on wedding traditions one time and we dressed up in wedding dresses by the way and I was nine months pregnant about to give birth and I wore your old no you wore my uh foul renewal dress yeah and I was like we couldn't zip it up the back with my big belly yeah it's fun that's amazing we learned that like the whole cans on the back of like a car yeah was meant to scare evil spirits away

1:06:00

but it used to be like a parade they would take like pots and pans and make the sounds really loud that I would love to do if you followed the car just banging pots and pans after a wedding that sounds fun well I asked her I was like when did it transition to can and when were they like collecting empty cans were they full cans and was it soup was it beans the bean can is like spilling out exploding I said I was picturing like full cans of soda or like yeah beer and you were like I was picturing beans and yeah it's just kind of like whatever you already have you repurpose yeah and use

1:07:00

behind you to scare the spirits don't you come near me I've got beans I so the wedding that I am having is your wedding my wedding is it feels so possessive to be like my wedding but it is yours the wedding event that I will uh be hosting hosting is I don't want anyone to look at me I want to zipline in and everyone close their eyes like I don't say this that would be so cool if you ziplined in I know there's trees I probably could [Laughter] doesn't that happen in like Spy Kids oh I'm sure yes yes I think so wait you said your brother's marrying you um he needs to get one of those like things

1:08:00

your brother is a marriage okay yeah he just needs to get one of those smoke cloud things like magicians use throw it on the ground oh my God Katie Herron I love that oh I love my gosh well I do Wonder so like the whole the whole day will be outside so hopefully there's good weather but the whole every event is outdoors but I do wonder if there's going to be any Spirit activity because I've been collecting a lot of antiques to include in the wedding day so like old candlesticks and picture frames and I've collected a bunch of antique bells to have people ring as we like after we you know they're married whatever and walk back down the aisle so we've got a ton of antique Bells because I want to keep them as like decor and that's our version of wedding China or whatever it's these little bells that don't take up a ton of space but they've been

1:09:00

collected from all over New England which is so such a haunted place so I am curious what attachments might come from some of the items that's fine it smells like Wake the Dead yes it'll be like when all the ghosts are coming yes when she's all dancing and fall down all of the ancestors I guess got an invite wow I didn't even think about that the whole ringing waking the dead um so there's this thing oh but what else do you have to teach me there's a thing called ghost weddings and I don't understand it really but basically okay it's in France China and a bunch of other places post-humous weddings are legal so there are certain

1:10:00

like cultures if you die single they would perform a wedding ceremony that you so that you would find a companion in the afterlife so I think that means like you died but they perform a wedding ceremony with someone who's still living and then when they die you have a two dead people and they're like you two together maybe yeah matchmakers from this side but then they would have to leave someone single dead until someone else dies right so I don't necessarily understand it and then also it's so common that in 2013 four men in China were arrested because they were grave robbing and trying to sell bodies so that people could perform these ghost weddings someone else also murdered two women in order to do the ghost weddings

1:11:00

this is recent yeah right the wrong thing of that opportunity oh my God it's these weird wacky don't worry sick Traditions we've got someone for you you are gonna have to meet them in the afterlife what yeah I don't really understand it what about the hotel death do us part thing till dead do you dead I guess I don't know come together and it's also like why are you so worried about people that aren't here anymore like my living business mind our own business okay yeah story mind your business [Laughter] dang that is wild yeah it reminds me of um what's that uh Tim Burton movie you know Frank and my name

1:12:00

horrible movie where's that I I don't think I should just have to watch it the other day yeah with my dad and Ollie was like having a fit and he was like can I come and I said no baby it's it's just for adults and he goes they've got water there and I'm like you are right they do but would you like to sit in my bed and watch Frankenweenie and he's like no idea [Laughter] it's a good little problem solver very frustrating beer and I want to drink that yes goodbye sorry I'm young yeah okay I'll read a couple more and then Corinne has like the really I just have a couple dark current facts murderous facts um okay I thought that was the worst one I mean that is really messed up in a different way all right you hit me with

1:13:00

it okay Legend says single women will dream of their future husbands if they sleep with a slice of groom's cake under their pillows what what is that I don't know if it's like a cake from another wedding or if it's a specific type of cake yeah but not this is like Obsession of women only seeking men well you know that women are nothing if they don't also have a man by their side we are useless without men in my life I need my cake and my man that's it but my cake will bring me my man my head will bring me my man my cake brings them into the yard my bad um okay honey moons came from the whole kidnapping thing basically hiding the bride away until the wedding was totally

1:14:00

done and they couldn't escape so I'm guessing they didn't always go to Mexico no it wasn't a beautiful you know vacation on the truck topical you know it was the Pina Colada Shack in the woods yeah or in the basement that's basically how I spent my honeymoon so whoa stuttering where did you go we went to uh the Blue Ridge Mountains in North Carolina and almost died on our way there we got stuck in Kentucky but then we did in fact maybe but you weren't kidnapped you you chose to go no I did yeah well yeah I mean I thought there was a there was gonna be a close call there when we were stuck in Kentucky and I didn't know what was going to happen but yeah I did voluntarily go along for the ride also I just realized that Mosby has yum yum sauce on his nose oh yeah he got that right right up close to my face and I was like what's happening on your face buddy what is yum yum sauce um have you ever been to Hibachi

1:15:00

it's the like light orangish sauce they call it yum yum sauce there's like what's the other one Ginger yeah or something it's like some kind of steak sauce yeah and then the other one is yummy sauce so did Mosby just come here from Hibachi no no no um last night and Forest is in his um well he stays in his saucera but he's in his uh I'm gonna cause an effect throw things see what happens and so he loves sauce and I'm like you want to try some yum yum sauce and he said no and he threw it on the ground and then Mosby and birdie were like we do that's ours straight into it so cute okay I do have a question about Traditions do you have anything on why they would have the bride in the groom

1:16:00

on the cake like cake toppers oh I don't know I don't I didn't see anything about it yeah that is something that someone just asked me if I wanted and I was like I totally forgot that was like a cake topper that like it back in the day they would have like the man and the woman yeah like little images Shane and I had a cake topper because we had cupcakes but we had a little thing that said You Are My Sunshine Oh that's oh that's so cute so sweet we walked our recessional song Was Here Comes the Sun oh oh that's cute so sweet okay I don't know about the cake Topper Topper right now but it says the tradition of having a tiered cake is because the top tier of the wedding cake would be thawed and used for the baby's christening I heard that you eat it on your one year anniversary well I think that's the newer uh tradition probably we have different Child free people so we're having a tiered cake we already had the baby and christened well I guess not well

1:17:00

here's the problem with my cheered cake is that the top two are fake because they were like here's the deal you don't need all four tiers but we want it to look like an elegant nice cake only the bottom two are going to be real the top two fake cake very excited I heard that it wasn't always cake like that back in the day it was something else probably more beans honestly or like something cooked in jello I thought we talked about it [ __ ] we might have I can't remember anything like I knew that we did a wedding traditions episode but I don't remember anything we say ever so when you were like we'll talk about wedding traditions I'm like perfect I forget so good yeah so we're doing it again yes okay I'll read like four more and then I'll let Karen go okay wait can I enter yeah I just read about wedding Toppers and it's we're not really entirely sure but there's a legend and the story goes over 100 years ago there was a daughter of a

1:18:00

baker who was getting married and she had seen so many wedding cakes go out the door but she wanted something special that really was symbolic of her and her groom and so she asked her dad to make us something special like add something special to the cake and he made them as like little figurines tradition she made baking tradition and they she was so jazzed about it and just so moved by her dad doing that and the cake was like the centerpiece of their whole wedding so everyone saw it and it kind of like inspired people this is like the most beautiful one that we have everything yeah but we needed we needed that little sprinkle of sunshine and then I'll bring us back down okay here we go okay bridal bouquets were to keep the plague away basically it smelled nice and they thought that smelling roses and those types of things would prevent you from getting sick oh good that's the the You Know Something Old Something New okay something old

1:19:00

symbolizes ties to the Past something new represents a bright future ahead Something Borrowed is a transfer of Happiness from a long married couple to the newlyweds something blue is a symbol of Purity again I don't understand blue is Purity but so is white so is white well okay because queen Queen Victoria was the first to wear a white wedding dress in 1840 and then since then white has become because all of me thinks it was read before Oh I thought red was like not pure because it's the blood well that means they said they said before then Brides simply wore their best dress oh oh the old that's usually like I have one outfit that I call my funeral outfit it's like my nice outfit that I wear just like just two girls and it has long sleeves so like if there's a summer one you should roll those puppies up I don't know I just

1:20:00

don't go don't die in the summer that's what I say I've always said that don't die in the summer since I was a wee lad that is what I have said although it is hard in the winter and so they gotta keep the bodies until the ground is thawed yeah let's do it it'd be like that sometimes die in the fall or spring yes only when the ground is moist it's softened we actually just did an episode on this Legend called the Frozen people of Vermont which was basically saying like there's this legend that like 150 years ago or whatever that vermonters figured out cryonics and they would basically like the poor farmers and poor families who knew that they wouldn't have enough food to feed all of the mouths that they had living in their multi-generation home would choose the people that were oldest and uh least

1:21:00

capable of helping and would freeze them in the early winter and then thaw them out in the spring when it was time to have some help on the farm again when it would be easier for them to uh live what I don't think it's like real I don't think because I would love to be frozen right to my wedding amazing yeah you might not ever have to deal with winter again and then they just wake me back up and they're like it's time to get married thank God I didn't have to do any of that awesome September Ends okay the last one that is really really fricked up is fresh is the whole like garter toss and stuff so apparently back in the day I don't think I'm doing that or there's a bunch of different versions of this but like people would tear off like pieces of the wedding dress for luck of their own future wedding so that's why now the

1:22:00

bouquet is thrown but the garter toss is because basically you know consummation had to happen after the marriage so tossing the Garter okay basically they would get married they'd have their little feast and then everyone would go watch as the bride and groom had sex and consummated the marriage for the first time and the groom would throw the clothes off and like make a party of it and throw it into the audience basically they've walked it yeah they had to confirm that they consummated the marriage what no well that's a tradition I'm bringing back it's like the red light district in Amsterdam I did have a couple who was like we're gonna need an extra long uh cocktail hour because we need to go up to the bridal suite and [ __ ] and I was like before the reception so people penciled it in like we're gonna be

1:23:00

sitting and being like so where are they and I'm like well the maid of honor it went upstairs to like touch up the bride you know what they knew what they wanted and they and they did it did everyone else knew what they wanted to all this information of like the traditions of weddings where people are like the sanctity emerge and a man and a woman and blah blah blah I'm like um maybe we don't go so hard for CIS hetero weddings yeah this is what they were based off of right of women being property and having no purpose like there was one where they the carrying a woman over the threshold of a new home is because they were nervous that if a woman tripped walking into the new home it would curse them so if the man carried her into the home he throws her in and you know me in my

1:24:00

weak weak ankles I need a strong man with his strong knees I haven't gotten a good night's rest in weeks with his cake under my pillow it smells horrible but don't worry my man came to me why does your room smell like absolute butt [ __ ] okay I called you my love spoiled there's just like green and black mold coming out from under the pillow okay icing in her hair yeah oh my God he doesn't even exist because she's just hallucinating from mold poisoning there was a lot of hallucination from uh poisonous accidental poisonous food yeah that's the original yeah holy bread yes oh we did talk about that we talked about that episode one moldy bread really wow you guys for ahead of your

1:25:00

time I know that was our Gateway bread yeah okay I have some oh yeah dark facts oh no for us just a few okay and it's because I feel like the classic the classic thing but well the sad fact is women are more likely to be murdered by their spouse or someone known to them than they are to be murdered by someone who is a stranger but we're not talking about women yeah that's a President's Day act yes and it probably probably too historical yeah like same thing forever but whenever we talk about women being murderers I feel like it's usually like oh women who kill they poison their husbands that's what we always hear so I wanted to look up some facts about women poisoning their husbands

1:26:00

he's the one that bought me the books all on botany and just like the different things he's like try it he's just happy to be there I love it he wants to be included uh okay poison is actually the sixth most common way for a woman to kill so there's a lot of other ways before poison interesting because it's like gun knife you know like it's okay but they're weapons they're weapons okay yeah got it all the stuff you find in clue and then poison exactly exactly a wrench so while it's our sixth choice women are still seven times more likely than men to choose poison as their murder weapon well that's just the percentage yes right yes subtle about our winners yes it's more well that's the slow ocon it's kind of like the emotion versus

1:27:00

planned yeah a little bit of rat poison in your coffee every morning it's like okay I've been I have had enough of you 15 years is far too long and then you just you're like well I could do another five if I slowly poison them have you watched Jenny and Georgia on Netflix yes yes yes the flowers she just she did it in one day though she was just like she's like all right done you're doing some shady [ __ ] I don't like heart attack for you here's a flower in your smoothie that's um spoiler but that's one of the seasons Hannah McKay well and really poisoning women poisoning their husbands came out of the Need to Escape abusive relationships I was gonna say that 100 percent originally the the woman who's credited with supplying poison to women to help them Escape these

1:28:00

you like the way I phrase that no I love it there's a supplier yeah yeah yes her name was I'm gonna butcher this but guilia tafana and she died in Rome in 1651 so back in the 1600s she was operating in Italy selling this poison called aqua tafana which was supposedly invented by her mother oh and then she was the one that basically distributed it it's rumored that there was a group of Six Women and she was one of the six women that would meet kind of in secrecy with these other women and give them this prescription which was this poison it was this arsenic concoction though she would be living for this I think it's Julia because busy in Italian yeah yeah it's a g-i-u-l-i-a Julia love her yeah and also I'm assuming back in this uh period there were also probably a lot of arranged marriages and things like that

1:29:00

yeah not only are they stuck in a marriage that they're being abused in but also they didn't even want to be in it in the first place yeah they're probably underage yes yeah all 12 year olds yeah I love this yeah this this makes me feel like our grandma our grandma was Italian and her mom who was the old Gog bad [ __ ] to us Came From Italy and so now I'm like they maybe were someone they were definitely a supporter yeah it's not a maker totally yeah and there's some real empowerment behind this because I think there were multiple women that they would serve for years and the only reason that we know about this is because they got caught I don't know um and Julia dafana was the one who had all the fingers pointed at her though there's rumored to be five more people

1:30:00

working with her but they love women supporting women women supporting women and the only reason they were caught was because there was another woman who was caught and picked me was clearly not in a safe space and probably to protect herself or attempt to lessen what would happen yeah she then gave up the information and Julia was tried and executed on July 12th of 1633 for this poisoning ring that she had uh started but it was to help people escape their abusive spouses where's the movie about that because I was really upset like right now I'm down let's write it and also star in it no oh my gosh yes I've always wanted to and this is still a goal of mine um when I sell my first show I want to be a dead body in the pilot yeah you

1:31:00

have to that would you want to play with my body a little Alfred who was like randomly in all of the Marvel movies until he passed Stanley Stanley yeah Stanley something or is it just Stan Lee no I don't think it's is it Stan Lee I'm not a Marvel I'm not a Marvel person either I'm not either that's like what I told my when I realized my grandparents were calling Liberace Liberace and I was like I'm pretty sure his last name is Liberace she's both half right because his first name like the nickname was Elise so he was Lee Liberace but they were combining it [Laughter] Libra my mom had a cousin named Chris muscati and they would say her name really fast and say Christmas Scotty and I was like your cousin's name is Christmas Scotty so the first baby's named Dove and then

1:32:00

the second baby is Christmas Christmas maybe that's how it works if you can take the girl out of the Catholic church because you can't take the kids Catholicism out of the girl [Laughter] you said dark and I was like oh no I'm gonna get sad I'm kind of feeling empowered by that okay about disturbing and yeah yeah if we're going to talk about if we're going to pick Traditions I picked the one where we poison people who are abusing people yeah I like that I agree yeah and for legal purposes that's a joke do we make a disclaimer we are not advocating that you poison your husbands no please hey these are all jokey jokes

1:33:00

please don't yeah let's jokes joking jokes like resources if you are in an abusive relationship yeah there are resources available and we will link them yes because yeah I think we have some in our link Tree on our Instagram okay good perfect we'll snag some there but okay so Sierra whether you're doing the cake what other Traditions are you doing um well we're not doing like a first look so the first time he'll see me is walking down yeah that's exactly it um yeah yes it's I just feel like that'll be a good plus I don't know that's what he wanted to do um so I let him pick I was like that's your move you know however you feel comfortable but then okay so there's something I know this was in Catholic weddings correct but that's not why we're doing it but there used to be like a lighting of a candle a Unity like a Unity ceremony right mothers would go up in light two separate candles and then the couple would each grab the candle

1:34:00

that their mom lit and light a candlesting down so we are doing something similar but but different because we're doing like pouring sand in but instead of our parents like giving us away we're doing it with our kids because we are a blended family um I have a son from a previous relationship and then so it's gonna be like us too plus our daughter together and then my son so it'll be like we're all one oh my God so beautiful so I love I love that tradition because I'm like it is more like a religious tradition but I think the way that we're doing is is not so much of like I have my parents property and now we get to beat it it's more like now our family is all one and I think that's really that's kind of like the tradition wise our wedding is going to be so incredibly short like you are doing 10 minutes you are doing a father-daughter mother son dance yeah yeah but like I that's like reception yeah but as far as the wedding goes it's going to be in and out we're

1:35:00

not doing anything I think we're even doing like a vowel thing separately but like we're saying our vowels separate just the two of us and like the videographer can catch some of it but other than that the the we're not having a big wedding either like we're uh inviting like 20 people to the actual wedding intimate ceremony big reception yeah that's nice yeah that's beautiful because I don't like a lot of it's so funny because I'll say I don't like eyes on me and everybody's like you have like 1.4 million on Tick Tock I don't understand yeah yeah I feel the same way I don't like seeing their eyes on me yeah that's what freaks me out so I think I'll feel more comfortable if I'm already drunk by the time the reception which I probably will be and that would be great I get it yeah what are your traditions because other than the breaking of the glass or do you have any Unity sorry do you have any Unity situation no okay just I do yeah yeah I guess we

1:36:00

gave like my brother kind of a we went off of we were just like Googling different scripts for the ceremony and then we gave my brother basically a sheet that was like say whatever you want for these three minutes and that like we're basically having a 10 minute ceremony as well because we were way more focused on cocktail hour yeah reception yeah so it's very quick and then it's just the kind of I wanted the until death do you part because we're obviously a little spooky so I like put that I was like Christian just say this and then like we Now Pronounce You I do I do whatever but we're not doing a lot of stuff we're like not doing a cake we're not doing a bunch of speeches only my dad is doing a speech and then Brian and I are doing a speech oh I love that yeah we're not doing like the garter toss or anything like that oh I think one thing that was maybe untraditional not non-traditional words is we are

1:37:00

having it 21 and up and that was the only part of the wedding that did cause a little stir amongst some people I also wanted to do the same I didn't want to do 21 and up but I wanted to do like no children except for our own and even I told Jerry I was like if it was up to me my kids wouldn't be at the reception okay I'd be like a wedding sure reception I'm trying to have a party I had a lot of couples with kids who send their kids home that's probably what's going to happen because I don't want to have to censor the the amount of fun that we're gonna have yeah right now because that can be a scary thing for a kid to witness too like I remember attending a wedding before and my dad was super drunk and I was so like it has stuck in my head forever that I thought my dad was gonna get hit by a car yes 100 and you know don't let him worry about that go home sleep it off they're probably gonna go home with my grandparents because I know my grandparents are gonna dip early like

1:38:00

yeah as soon as the dances are over we're going home and I'm like that's fair you guys that's okay yeah my sister had um and this is different because she had everyone fly to Italy for her wedding so um people leaving their kids it's a little bit harder for that um she had like a babysitter or like someone on property to watch all the kids so there was this room I feel like they were like in a cage I mean it was a nice big it was a nice cage it was a nice cage but like the door was locked and they were in there with no supervision I'm just kidding um they were in there with someone watching them and they just had their own little party because then the you know if the parents are like me where they're like I have to go check and make sure they're okay especially if I get like a little tipsy I'm like I need to make sure they're fine because I just get like then you just pop your head in oh you guys good all right bye but I did kind of say that I wanted it kid free and I know there was a little bit of pushback on that and then I was also

1:39:00

like it wasn't from you but we had discussed this I was like um I would rather you be able to come and not have to worry about your kids the whole time you know what I mean I feel like that takes away from just wanting to have fun with everybody this was something we talked about too because everyone like to this day still talks about how much fun my wedding was and I think people whenever they have their wedding or like it wasn't like that and that's because there were no children they got married first yeah and so like there was you had Noah but Noah went home yeah he didn't come to the reception right yeah and so because it is different when you're like dancing and like letting loose and having so much fun on the dance floor and then an eight-year-old breezes by you and you're like oh yeah or the eight-year-old is so cute and dances in the middle and everyone just watches the eight-year-old yeah well and like I was pregnant for my sister's wedding so I couldn't drink or get down like how I normally would yeah and then after that people had like young kids or I had like at my cousin's at our cousin's wedding I had both my toddlers there so like it's very

1:40:00

different yeah when kids are present yeah yeah just a different yeah you can't have you can't let loose as much you're still in parent mode and then someone's got to watch the kids to make sure they're not a lot of expensive things too that I I don't know you know around or things that can get broken and aren't toddler proof and that's why I was like ready for my daughter because she won't even be two yet so I'm I'm fine with her leaving after that because I know how many things she already tries to grab now but unless somebody is constantly got their eyes on you you're gonna be trying to eat some of that stuff yeah so please don't do that yes so yeah I understand the pushback because we got a little bit as well but it's you're like it's your day and it's your day yeah and also I realized like I need to be less of a [ __ ] because I am like I I Sabrina you're like Jerry's teenager yeah like I came out the womb being like here are my opinions and here's what I

1:41:00

want to do and I'm extremely stubborn and like you know this is this is you I just if I've made a decision it's very hard for people to sway me or for their negativity to affect me because I'm like that's your issue like go talk about it with someone else and so I did find myself being a little Snappy and snippy when people did push back on the kid thing and I was like I need to just explain it better than being like Oh you're welcome to have a family reunion if you're looking to have children in the same group together I'll gladly attend that yes no but honestly it's so it there's if you wouldn't be like hey my kids need to come to this party that you're throwing you know what I mean so and that's what the reception is for a lot of people especially if there's like an open bar and it is like a big party so I don't understand the push people have to like my children need to be there it's like hey I promise you as a kid who was forced to come to many a weddings they don't want to be

1:42:00

there no no no they just want someone to take a picture of their family in certain attire so that they can post it yeah yeah I said what I said you're the photographer who's probably like can you take a photo of me yeah yes yeah oh yeah I did see on Tick Tock I was watching a year ago I got sucked into all those videos like here's 10 things I did at my wedding or here's 10 things that are unique that like did or didn't work out and there was one that I think would only work if you were having a little bit smaller of a ceremony but someone or a wedding reception but someone had set up basically a backdrop specifically for people to take their holiday photos together and their family photos that's fun it was almost like a step in repeat entering the cocktail hour so that they can just get it over with people would have a good photo of themselves that they would feel good about and then they can just move on and enjoy the rest of the evening and not take away too much from like where the photographer is

1:43:00

supposed to be right one thing that I thought was really cool is instead of doing like a because people do like a dollar dance [ __ ] most nightmarish situation photographer because it's like how many pictures do you really want swaying back and forth with random people I'm not doing it right I don't want that many people to touch me at all no no no if they if they want the photo of just like who's there because another one is they they wanted me to like take photos of them talking to random people and I'm like some people you get the back of their head it's just so one is not a good thing they did is they had every cup they the DJ basically announced it and he's like the couple is going to come around be ready when they get to your table group photo yeah and I'm like all right that's one song take a picture take a picture and it's fun it's like a song that's like really upbeat and the couple's kind of running around yeah

1:44:00

yeah I think I might do that I like it I know I was gonna say actually I think I'm gonna do that or I've seen it where they have the couple sit in the center and then they have tables come up but that's also scary too I'm like yeah that takes more time yeah it's a little bit easier for you to go table to table because there's not as many moving Parts yeah right and then people won't you don't have to tell people who are lingering like we already had your photo get out yeah yeah you just have every table like get ready be ready and stand in your position you just jump into the front I like that because I was I did have like the concern because obviously everyone you invite to your wedding you want to be there so I want memories of them and being there so I was trying to think of like and I know sometimes people bring everyone onto the dance floor but then there's always the two people that are in the bathroom and then you know well it's it's extra hard from a photographer standpoint too because depending on how large your wedding is I can't get all those people in there I don't have a high enough place to shoot from duplicate yourself or something yeah yeah and I don't feel like doing the work to like take a photo take a

1:45:00

photo merge it together this isn't Washington DC I'm not trying to do I'm not getting a panoramic yeah sorry no I like that idea yeah okay wait so Jerry you've been to so many weddings because you've photographed so many so what are some of the things that you think are worth it or not worth it um I don't think hmm I don't even know everyone can decide for themselves like yes I'll say photographer perspective anything unless you're having a Catholic wedding unless you have to have if there's like a distance between where your ceremony and your reception is or if you have like a different destination where you want photos you do not need more than eight hours I think it's a waste of time I think it's a waste of time and it's a waste of money because as far as like a getting ready photo and a um dancing photo you don't need that many of them yeah the core part of the photography is

1:46:00

happening um during the day at least the candid part of it you don't need candid photos of getting ready and candid photos of dancing like I don't want them I'll tell you that name too they do I got I I get down at weddings like I get down I love being invited at weddings every time so that I get so mad because I'll look at the photographer's pictures and I'm like I'm like this my frown face and I'm like getting like in the weirdest positions I'm like why would you take that picture and why would you post it online like yeah why does that look flattering no I know that I looked good when I was doing it but that's still a photo and the dance floor normally is at its most full like toward the beginning of the reception yeah and so people are

1:47:00

less sloppy and people are still there and so if you want someone to stay for like 10 12 hours I'm just standing around eating cake yeah truthfully and I'm not in it to steal money from you and so when people are like but what about I want dancing photos you ever heard of a high-speed shutter I can take 60 photos in one song and look make it look like a whole evening yes honestly that or like get your cameras out we all have really nice phones or cameras on our phones these days like yeah yeah videos yourself a bunch I I hate a lot of reception uh events yeah I think if you want to have a meaningful dance with someone have that meaningful dance otherwise the longer you take to get to the party part the more people are just sitting around being like what are we doing here yeah there's no need for all of these Logistics if it's not true to who you are as a couple yeah yeah so just get to the part where you enjoy

1:48:00

each other agreed yeah like a wedding's supposed to be fun right what are you doing for for music are you doing a band a DJ do you have like a oh we have here's what they should not play uh I the DJ what I told him was early 2000s make me feel like I'm at prom again like I don't want it yes you know I mean apple bottom jeans boots oh my gosh yes it's gonna be a lot of that cannot stand when um people have like strictly country oh their weddings because I'm like unless we all know line dances why are we doing this you can't dance to this yeah and even like the older everywhere I've gone onto that has like those songs from that time period even the older people are dancing it's they're easy songs to move to even if you don't know them and but everybody knows them because they've been on every freaking radio show and like that was such a time period that

1:49:00

you'll get people that are in their younger it's Nostalgia it's so necessary yes yes the people going yeah it gets people like weird yeah yeah yes you're weird you're aunt just losing their minds to like a Backstreet Boy song or something that's gonna happen as well maybe like if you're at the wedding and the old like 2000s music is playing maybe you're you're missed your teenage self oh I forgot to add this part to it so later that night I had someone say hey I played the piano and um I want to share it with my therapist but I've never recorded myself playing before uh would you listen to it for me just so she's not the first person to see it I was like yeah for sure when I tell you I started sobbing watching this person playing the piano I mean like inconsolable sobbing and I was

1:50:00

transported back to being a teenager listening to music and using it as an escape and I was like it I genuinely felt like the Mist came out from behind the steps when I was watching this so like it was music power is a very powerful thing yeah the mystery break it down for sure this has an attitude and it comes out with music I love it I love it you can bait her out through yeah Napoleon Dynamite choreography oh 100 because I I love Napoleon Dynamite I dressed up as Napoleon Dynamite for Halloween did you have tater tots in your pocket no I should have you should I showed up yeah let's do it again yeah I fully committed though and got like the glasses but they were definitely prescription and I was like do it though yeah a little bit I love it it's fun

1:51:00

um I guess part two will be on your feed right yes we're not done talking no more we have so much podcast called for for women talking yeah let's do it well thank you guys for joining us thank you thank you for helping with us it was happy wedding season yeah it took a while to get into the wedding season but you know we got the same trauma crying now that we know ghosts the dark Traditions we'll get to play some fun games and have a little bit more of like a bachelorette Vibe so far yes we will see you on the other side