One of History’s Strangest UFO Mysteries | The Nuremberg Sky War of 1561 (Ep 388)

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It was a sex community. What if that is aliens having an orgy in the sky?

Objects crashing into each other, falling from the heavens, trailing smoke. The sky war of 1561.

This feels like a movie. Yeah. Very spooky.

Happy birthday. [laughter]

Every year.

I know. Awkward. Happy birthday, Sabrina.

Yeah, thanks. [laughter]

I panicked this morning cuz I was like, wait, I haven't gotten your birthday gift. And I was like, why would I get your birthday gift? We're recording this in May. I'm going to give you your birthday gift like at your birthday time.

I will say I have because we're recording your birthday episode after we're recording my birthday episode. I do have a card for you that I bought for you months ago.

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Oh my gosh. Classic. I feel like this is how you give me cards is you you have them for like a year and a half and then you're like, "Oh, wait.

I actually bought this months ago with intention to give it to you for your birthday." And I feel like in the past I buy cards and then I never give them to you because I'm like, "Oh, they're for later." But I actually have this one for you and I remember it and I'm going to give you the card on the recording day.

Okay.

But I'll give you your gift in August. [laughter] If people are confused and you're listening and they're like, "Why are you recording so strangely?" It's because Krin is having a child. Um, and when this episode comes out, that child will be Earthbound.

Yes, I'll be on maternity leave.

And you'll be on maternity leave.

So, there's going to be a good 3 months of pregnant episodes out there where I actually am not no longer pregnant,

which is such a strange thing.

It is weird. It makes it seem like pregnancy is even longer.

But then you also feel pregnant forever

until later. So, it's

Yeah, but people can tell. [laughter] People are like, "Your boobs, they're giant, sagging, floating to the side. You look ill."

I really hope no one said that to you.

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[laughter]

Said it to myself. Here's the thing. It is what it is. I don't care.

Also, this

I don't watch the video back. Sorry to you if that bothers you. [laughter]

You can just listen. This started out as a podcast.

I just listen. I don't watch. [laughter]

Um, do you want to introduce us?

Yes. This is Two Girls, One Ghost.

Two Girls, One Ghost. Do you hear that like rumble in my voice? [sighs]

Sexy. [clears throat]

There's a demon inside of me.

Um, we are your ghostesses. That's Karen.

And [laughter] that's Sabrina.

And today is Sabrina's birthday episode. [laughter]

Yay.

Yay. How old are we? Oh my god. 33.

Oh, 33.

Yeah, we're 33.

33.

Are we?

Yeah. as of not. I mean, right now when we're recording, we're 32.

We get three more months of 32.

Oh, man. I just I can't do math. Between I'm going by decades now. [laughter]

When I'm 40, I'll know I'm 40.

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No, you won't.

Well, yes, I will because the year ends in three.

Fair. Okay.

Math. Math is hard. Uh, but this is not a math themed episode because this isn't about my troubles and worries. This is themed for Sabrina. Yay. Because every year during our birthday episodes, we like to choose something that the other person, if we're the researcher, would enjoy.

And I was thinking about how recently you were on Well, no.

But [laughter] I'm like, this is like such a ramble.

I want to hear you ramble. [laughter] I like to hear you talk.

the Sky War of 1561

We know you love aliens, though. So why am I about to say like 17 sentences to all to say that you love aliens?

Well, I love aliens so much. I want to hear you talk about how much I love aliens. Somehow I was inserting Tik Tok into my [laughter] into my thoughts. I was going to say recently you've gone on TikTok, you're more up with the trends.

One of the trends of the past year was like the Roman Empire. Like what is your Roman Empire? And it all started with someone basically being like men think

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about [laughter]

the literal Roman Empire

like once a week. And so many people were like that's so weird. But it basically started this trend which is like what is your Roman Empire? What do you think about all the time that might not be a normal topic that every single person [laughter] thinks about and for you that is aliens?

It sure is.

And I found an alien story that is historical. It's an event from over 500 or just about 500 years ago

when worlds opened up and battles were fought in the sky. It is a mass UFO sighting printed in the front page news. What? And while it does not involve the Roman Empire, it does involve the Holy Roman Empire, which are two completely different things.

Alien Empire, Aliens Fighting the Sky is far more interesting to me than the Roman Empire.

Yeah. And it's called The Skywar of 1561.

This feels like a movie.

It's very Star Wars. No, it's not. But it's still It's still wild.

The Skywar.

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The Skywar, which I was like, how did we not know? We say that all the time. How did we not know about this? There's so much we don't know about and it it breaks my heart. [laughter]

If only we could know everything.

Truly, I wish I wish I could touch a book and consume the words. That was the only thing when it comes to vampire Well, I almost said vampire diaries. When it comes to Twilight, the one thing that I was envious of was the idea that they like proposed where you can maybe eventually read every book.

Every I just got chills. [laughter]

Right. Cuz like Bella would go to sleep and Edward would just like be up reading like another book. [sighs] I'm like, man, you could get it would just be so great.

I could watch every single Bravo reality TV show.

You could you could really watch it all. [laughter] Our brains are melting.

Mush.

It's totally mush.

Actually, this is like this is I was like clearly I'm thinking about having a little boy

all the time now. just again because I'm

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towards the end of pregnancy. But last night, I had a dream that I was with our friend Marissa and two other people and we were going to my parents house in Maine and I had a new car that ran on farts [laughter] and I couldn't get it to run and it was like sputtering and I had to keep farting into it to try to get it to go, but it was like farting out my farts. I woke up and I [laughter] was like, "God, that's such a boy dream."

[laughter]

That's so unlike me.

I love that so much.

And a fart cart.

I I really I mean I love those jokes.

Farts bravo.

Are always going to be funny.

If you're a vampire, you got time for all of it. And maybe if you're an alien, too, cuz we don't know their their lifespan.

Can I know about the the thing in the corner? I so badly want to.

Sure. We'll put them on now and then maybe again later. Here you go. [laughter] I walked into the studio this morning and I was like, I'm going to let Karen surprise me. But I couldn't wait. Karin has made us. Oh, I think I put yours on. I tried I measured my my head

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and then tried to make uh one smaller [laughter]

cuz you have a little head and I have giant head. Yeah, this fits better.

Does yours fit better, too?

This fits great. [laughter]

We have tin foil hats.

Yes, cuz we always say we're going to do it. And I was like, this is alien. This is There's some conspiracy or like theories at the end.

Listen, aliens are real and if you don't believe that, I will fight you [snorts] and I'll back her up. So, watch out because Corenzu, you should really be scared of [laughter]

not to toot my own horn, but I was toot your own horn because your car runs apart. So, please toot it. [laughter] got toot. I was thinking about how like I know people don't know like [laughter] me like super personally through the podcast, but I do feel like I am the person who when I enter a room, people are either like depending on the scenario happening, people would either be extremely relieved that I was there or the exact opposite.

I feel like we both have that energy.

Yeah, we're loyal friends. Don't [ __ ]

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around. Like truly one of the best compliments in the world was when that guy said he was scared of me. I want people to be scared of me.

I remember that.

And not like, oh, she looks like she's mean scary, but like, oh my god, she looks like she might send a demon after me.

Unpredictable. Scary.

Her skin could shed at any moment [laughter]

and something else could crawl out.

Oh my god, that'd be

She breathes in and suddenly your skin is coming off and she's eating you alive.

I'm now a cannibal. Happy birthday to me.

33. Cannibalism.

[screaming] [laughter]

Okay. The skywars.

Eat your home boogers. Okay. [laughter]

Smelling your farts. Cannibalism. Where does the line end? Okay. [laughter] April 14th, 1561. It's not yet 5 in the morning in the city of Nuremberg, Germany. This guy, [laughter]

it's a little loud.

I I'm like adjusting it tighter to my head. I like how you put yours on so

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like you still have a hairline and it's cute and mine is just like should I put at the very end so people don't know where my forehead ends.

My forehead's massive so I should be covering. [laughter] You think that just because your sister told you that you know your forehead is normal. [laughter]

Lexi see what you did.

Okay.

The sky to the east has just begun to catch a glimpse of morning light. A thin glow peeking over the mountain tops. Beautiful. the horizon before the sun itself. The air is cold. It's damp. It smells like stone and wood smoke. Oo.

Yeah. Really nice. Which is normal for this area and I think for many of the areas at the time because electricity did not exist. So [laughter] powered by wood. That's what she said. [laughter]

I like whatever version I got of you today. I'm enjoying her.

The one who had a fart mobile dream. But then something happens that is most definitely not powered by wood. Powered

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[laughter] by wood. It is out of the ordinary. Something that would be recorded and distributed across the Holy Roman Empire within weeks. Something that almost half a millennia later, people are still arguing about in comment sections online, in academic papers, and perhaps in a podcast just like this. We'll see if we fight. [laughter]

We'll fight whoever is listening and doesn't believe in it.

Yeah. cuz I think we're going to be on the same page here.

We're a team.

This was the day that the sky went to war. Hundreds of witnesses described blood red spheres, dark cylinders, crosses, crescent, shapes that at the time had no real name in German language back in the 1500s. Like they could somewhat describe it, but I think what people truly saw like it was they were seeing UFOs and they didn't have words for it. Okay.

Mhm.

They described objects moving erratically, crashing into each other, falling from the heavens, trailing smoke.

Oh. Wo. Yeah.

So, they're fully

battle battle. They described watching this for over an hour and then they

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described a massive black arrow-shaped object hanging in the sky above their city before the whole spectacle just disappeared.

Okay, I know I don't even know the whole story, but what if this is like a weird glitch in time and they're actually seeing like a war from like like a World War II?

Oh, like bomber planes. Yeah.

Wow. That's very Marvel movie of you.

Is it?

Yeah, that happens. Isn't it in um

I don't know a Marvel girl.

Alas, I can't remember.

You're pregnant. Oh my god. Wait, this is crazy.

It's a Wonder Woman.

So my downstairs neighbor, he's a doctor. So he was doing like a lab work at Harvard and is studying infectious diseases.

Don't talk to me about infectious diseases right now. My two irrational fears that everyone has said is irrational. And by everyone, I mean like Brian and my parents who have heard me talk about it for years. Rabies from bats. I'll wake up in the middle of the night being like, "There's a bat. It has to be somewhere. And now we're all getting rabies. And haunt virus. Guess what irrational fear is happening now?

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Haunt [laughter] virus. This is our OCD queen.

Oh my god.

Um, but he was saying that

you can't help me now.

He studies like monkey pox and smallox and stuff

and they have like live cultures of these things in freaking Boston.

No, thank you. Um, but I guess one of his co-workers was 6 months pregnant and gave him the wrong sample where they thought it was like dead cells. [gasps]

No,

but they were alive.

This is how this [ __ ] starts.

Luckily, he didn't open it yet, so they were able to catch it. But I was thinking about you cuz you're like, "Oh, I have pregnancy brain." I'm like, "At least you're not dealing with

or causing a pandemic."

Yeah. [laughter]

With infectious diseases.

Yeah. Isn't that crazy?

That is crazy. That is That scares me. I mean, you think about surgeons, too, and like there are people who literally have your life in their hands

and you don't know what they've got going on at all.

Surgeons. Yeah. [sighs and gasps]

Anyhoo, deep breaths.

We're all going to die.

Yeah. My shoulders just went up like 3

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in.

We're all going to die. We're all going to die.

It wouldn't be a Sabrina birthday episode if she didn't find a way to scare us. And [laughter] I didn't choose a demonic episode, so we'll just do real life horrors today,

which is often way worse than [laughter] Yeah.

Anything else?

Okay. But today we're going to deep dive into a historical alien encounter. The 1561 celestial phenomenon over Nerburgg, Germany. The sky war of 1561. Wow. Love.

16th Century Nuremberg, Germany

So let us begin on that day. In 1561, Nuremberg was the most powerful, prosperous, and culturally significant cities in all of Europe. It was a free imperial city, meaning that it answered directly to the Holy Roman Empire and not to a local prince or bishop. So basically,

go off.

It had its own laws. It had its own courts. It had its own army. And it minted its own coins, which I'm like, wow, how exciting to get to like choose what your currency looks like.

See, now I totally get why people collect coins, cuz how cool would it be

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to find a coin like that?

That's so unique.

Oh, now I want to look up the coins from this time. It was a very wealthy area from trade. Had a lot of influential people. There were printers, merchants, astronomers, craftsmen, scholars. A bunch of names that I could name drop and you'd be like, "Oh, I remember that from my art history class."

Not you name dropping from the 1500s.

Oh my gosh. Don't you remember this famous painter? [laughter] Um,

I'm still not name dropping.

I could, but I'm not going to. [laughter] No, but it's like it's one of those like hot spots for artists and stuff and kind of like the way that the place was described, it was bringing me to the city of Valaris and Acatar and I was like, "Oh my gosh." Cuz it it just kind of sounded like that. Although no, in reality it was not as peaceful as the fairy smut.

Well, fairy smut's not that peaceful either.

You didn't get past the first book.

I did not.

So, in 16th century Nermberg, a Protestant Reformation was happening. And hey, we know from history what

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happens when there are religious shifts, right? Like there is not peace,

murder.

There we go. Resistance, death, war, all that sort of stuff. So like keep that in mind as what's going on. The peace of Augsburg in 1555 happened just 6 years before the story. And this basically established a pretty fragile truce between the Catholic and Protestant territories in the Holy Roman Empire. So basically like princes could choose their religion and their subjects would have to follow. But this was a truce and not real peace. So it was kind of like there was still a lot of contention. So a lot of tension building.

Yeah.

But Nermberg didn't follow a prince. Remember like they got to do their own thing and they answered the Holy Roman Empire. But all this is going on around them. There's a lot of talk and there's a lot of like hidden messaging because at the time, you know, like not everyone could just outright say what they felt about what was going on politically or religiously.

Um cuz a lot of times there are repercussions. So there was a lot of you know a fluffy talk, read between the lines sort of thing.

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All to say that in this world celestial signs meant something. So when there were comets, eclipses, unusual atmospheric events, strange lights in the sky, people were like, "Okay, these are messages from God." God God is trying to tell us something about what's going on because they were desperate for for some sort of understanding of the world around them and like why is this happening to us, right? Like what does any of this mean? What is life?

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The Celestial War

So on April 14th, 1561 around 4:30 in the morning, one of the Nermberg residents was outside as well as many others. But we're getting most of our information from this one guy.

Early birds. Early birds. Yeah. The sun has risen. Actually, probably not.

Yeah. 4:30

in April.

I don't think so.

It's twilight. [laughter]

Hans Glazer looks up to the sky and he sees something. He would then go on to create a broad sheet which combines a woodcut illustration with like the written account.

Cool.

And he was also a letter painter and he chronicled what would soon then be

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taken, reprinted on paper, and distributed for others to read. Good thing that he's the guy who saw it,

right? Which is like

convenient.

Convenient. So, he wrote, and we're going to break down like what each of these things means, cuz it can get a little confusing. He wrote, "In the morning of April 14th, 1561, at daybreak, between 4 and 5 on the small clock, a dreadful apparition occurred on the sun. And then this was seen in Durhamburgg, in the city, before the gates, and in the country by many men and women. At first there appeared in the middle of the sun two blood red semic-ircular arcs just like the moon in its last quarter. And in the sun above and below and on both sides the color was blood. There stood a round ball of partly dull partly black ferris color. Likewise, there stood on both sides and as a Taurus about the sun, such blood red ones, and other balls in large

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number, about three in a line and four in a square, also some alone. Oh man, I feel like I'm back in school having to like

do a math problem.

Yeah, but I did this before so that we could relax now.

But they're all like red colored.

Yeah. So like I looked up the word Ferris cuz I didn't know what that meant. And it was iron. It's iron colored. So it's like blood red colors. Basically, I ranged around the sun. He's saying there are multiple spheres. There appears to be some sort of like geometric pattern to it. Some in rows of three, some in rows of four, some on their own, and all of them are super blood red or dark in color.

Interesting.

Almost like a dark metallic looking spacecraft.

Mhm.

In between these globes, there were visible I'm I'm Hans again. Sorry.

Hans is here with us.

He paints on his wood. [laughter] So what if No, I'm

Please. This is my [laughter] birthday. Be runchy. Be inappropriate.

Just picture. He paints on his erect penis. [laughter] He goes to the local

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pub and everyone gathers round and reads. Everyone takes a different angle. [laughter] They all take turns.

I love this. I love it.

Oh man,

this is the best birthday episode I think I've ever [laughter] gotten. Truly, I'm on birthday heaven. This might be better than getting abducted by an alien. [laughter] Just

I take it back. I still want to be abducted.

Yeah.

Okay. So, Hans writes, "In between these globes, there were visible a few blood red crosses between which there were blood red strips becoming thicker to the rear and in the front malleable like rods of reed grass which were intermingled. Among them two big rods, one of them on the right, the other on the left and within the small and big rods there were three also four and more globes. Okay, so basically there's a bunch of different shapes. There's also crosses in here, cross-like shapes, which is why some people are like, "Okay, that's religious iconography." Like, "This is religious propaganda." So far, it's just like an account of shapes he's seeing, where they are in the sky,

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and the color of them.

Yeah.

But then they start to move. And he goes on to say, "These all started to fight among themselves, so that the globes which were first in the sun flew out to the ones standing on both sides. Thereafter, the globes standing outside of the sun and the small and large rods flew into the sun. Besides, the globes flew back and forth amongst themselves and fought vehemently with each other for over an hour.

And he's saying like many men and women are seeing this. Like everyone's got an hour. Yeah. Like that's a long period of time.

Like 4:30 to 5:30 in the morning, the sun is coming over the horizon and they're all looking up and witnessing this. Okay, I know this is not real, but the the movie person in me is like they waited for the most perfect time. It's so cinematic. It is.

They're like, "We need to film at the that the exact hour that the sun is right here in the sky."

Well, and not to spoil this [laughter] story that was from over 500 years ago, if you didn't already know, spoiler

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alert, things like this would happen again. And also at the same time of day, which to your movie point, it's like they didn't get

they had to do re-shoots. They [laughter] had to do re-shoots and it has to be the exact same time. Okay. And then to close out what he wrote, Hans said, "And when the conflict in and again out of the sun was most intense, they became fatigued to such an extent that they all, as said above, fell from the sun down upon the earth as if they all burned and then wasted away on the earth with immense smoke." So he's seeing they're all seeing I guess yeah these crafts these different shapes just like drop from the sky and then smoke plume up from wherever they dropped.

Run to the space where they fell.

And then he said after all this there was something like a black spear very long thick sighted and shaft pointed to the east but the point pointed west.

It's hard to visualize. It is. And so there is a kind of a picture that goes

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with the printed

Whoa. But I mean it's hard. It's just like a bunch of shapes

all around the sun and then there's almost like a black like a skinny like arrow pointing to the west and like the butt of the arrow is pointing [clears throat] to the east. So it's

it's like parallel to the ground.

So all these things are crashing onto the ground replaced with smoke and then a black spear or like arrow. But it really arrow isn't really even the right word cuz it does look like a spear. It's really elongated and super pointy.

It's just sort of like hanging there in the sky, but then the spear itself disappears as well.

And that's it. Done.

The sun rises

and people go about their day and Hans runs to his wood station and starts letter printing. Now Hans along with many other witnesses believe that what they just saw for the past hour is a message from God. Basically a warning that they're about to be punished because there's so much turmoil, there's so much tension, there's a lot going on. It's like inevitable that something will come. So, they're terrified cuz they're

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like, "Holy shit." Well, they didn't say that. They don't

God is mad at us.

God is super mad at us. We have totally messed up and we are about to be severely punished and he's showing us in the sky basically like us going to battle and like being murdered.

Yikes. Some believe that. Others believe it was a massive sighting. [laughter] But here's where it gets a little bit

real encounter or religious storytelling?

complicated. So, this was not the first time that Hans documented something weird in the sky, which again, it's like, how convenient.

Okay. Well, maybe Hans is a sky watcher. Maybe he is. His body just naturally wakes up at 4:30. He see stuff that other people don't. So, Hans, this was also like his thing was chronicling things that went on. He created, well, he wasn't the inventor of broad sheets, but he would create broad sheets.

These were early modern equivalents of like newspaper front pages. So they were regularly published depicting unusual events. So if there was a storm, there was a meteor shower, there were floods, all these things are news, but they were consistently interpreted through a

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religious lens. And so I didn't

as was the time.

As was the time. Exactly. People weren't just like individually reading newspapers in their homes. Like it was shared. It was read, shared, discussed in taverns, and churches, marketplaces. Like it was it was front page news. And like this was people gather. It was a point of conversation. And so it makes sense that it was also through a religious lens that was going to one make it sharable and two the author not in trouble with

everyone

the political power at the time. So when these weird things would happen in the sky like a meteor shower they'd be like okay God is trying to communicate and so they would interpret it that way. And I left the like four sentences out of Hans's

other

like the Nuremberg event of 1561. But at the end he did provide his own sort of like religious interpretation which was is God mad at us? God only knows. What is this? God only knows.

We will soon find out.

It really didn't add anything. He was just like I don't know what this is but

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God does.

So people would see weird things. They'd chronicle it. But often people had no idea what they were seeing or recording. So sometimes like we can look back at these log books and be like oh my gosh they were chronicling these amazing celestial activity and like we can understand a little bit more about like what the sky was like and what they were seeing or were they chronicling extraterrestrial activity all under the explanation of it being God. So for example in 1554 so almost a full decade before well not really seven years seven [laughter] years before this event Hans also documented what was described as a miracle in the sky above Waldick Castle involving unusual lights moving in the sky.

Okay.

So not nearly as intense as this. Right.

Yeah.

So people are arguing hm this seems like a pattern for Hans. So he must have made it up.

But that's not even a pattern. It's like seven years between them,

right? And it's not like he's only writing this stuff like

it's not like every morning Hans has like I saw another thing in the sky.

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An angel has come upon me.

God is speaking to me

when I was in my garden. No, but people are like okay well there's so much religious language and iconography and his writings like divine warnings, the crosses, the battles like

this is propaganda or this is him just trying to make front page news like he's he's attempting. I mean, it sounds like he is the front page news. Like, he's the way that front page news gets made

basically. Yeah. I don't know how many more

he's the editor-in chief

people were doing this at the time in this city cuz it is a big city.

But yeah, he's also saying that hundreds of other people witnessed this,

right?

So, we can't go back and interview, but like I think at the time it would have been questioned.

Not yet.

We're working on a time machine. Someone's not us. Someone

that's what happens. It's not actually a battle in the sky. It's all of our spacecrafts on the fritz. M. And we're all trying to go back.

We're all trying to go back

to learn about this moment.

Exactly. And then it's like we all crash and then we have to assimilate.

I think I would do pretty well back then.

You think?

Yeah. Especially if I'm bringing my knowledge from today. I'd manipulate the

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[ __ ] out of people.

What would you do?

No, I just like think I would be able to like work my way through history because I know history.

Yeah. But then they'd say, "Witch, how do you know [snorts] this?" And I would, knowing what I know about what they said for witches, I would turn it on the men and I'd accuse the men of being witches.

Interesting.

And I'd find clever ways to like I'd frame them all. [laughter]

Mhm.

I want to Someone write a fanfic because I want to read this version.

Stay tuned. It's just, you know, I'm going to go back in time and rewrite history.

So, some people are saying Hans is trying to make front page news. Hans has a pattern. and Hans is trying to add to or like create a myth or like a hoax at the time. There's a bunch of different things and

no one like that's

people at the time saying this. This is people like today.

Oh, people today.

Yes.

Oh, guys,

right.

I will fight you.

This is why I'm like we can't go like if we went back maybe the whole city of Nerburgg is like, jeez,

what just happened to this guy? Right.

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But we don't know. It all landed on Hans cuz he's the one that was writing everything,

right? Okay. So what we did know or what we do know is that Hans is saying everyone saw something happen in the sky that morning and then it stopped and it didn't happen again. The city of Nerburgg was left bewildered once in a lifetime event.

If that like I would love to have that once in a-lifetime event and I've yet in my 33 years [laughter] to experience such

well never say never.

I will never say never.

There is [laughter] there's an uptick in activities.

I always say yes please. But the thing is this event did happen again just not in Nermberg.

5 years after the Nermberg mass sighting in July and August of 1566 the city of Basil Basil Basil

Basil. Yeah.

Which is about 200 miles southwest reported strikingly similar phenomenon. It's like almost the same exact thing. So in the Basil broad sheet, which is also widely archived and studied today alongside the Nermberg report, it describes black spheres appearing before

30:00

sunrise, moving together, appearing to fight each other, then turn a red color before dissolving. And this was a different printer, a different witness, totally different town,

hundreds of miles away.

Hundreds of miles away. Yeah, a different city. There's so many more witnesses, but basically it's like it matches almost the same thing. Before sunrise, there's multiple objects moving, appearing to fight, similar coloring, and then some sort of like dissolving or smoke or disappearing act of all the shapes all at once.

Interesting. Also, the Nuremberg sighting was not even the first. Apparently, in 1554 in the PCH pluck region, there was a similar sighting. So it's like every 5 to 10 years people are witnessing another battle in the sky, but it's all like Germany and Switzerland region.

Interesting.

Or at least that's like what's being printed on the broad sheets that we have.

The aliens are like podcasting about us. [laughter]

Like they're like

31:00

about like this time period or you or me specifically cuz I don't I don't know that we make them.

Wait, that would be amazing. That's a new goal in life.

We are the Bravo show. We just have no idea. [laughter] I mean I do think that like part of why I think aliens come if they are not us from the future coming back to earth I think aliens are coming to watch like we're the reality show not you and I specifically but earth in general if you look at it broadly I'd be super concerned with earth but if you pick out a few individuals it could be quite entertaining

yeah okay so back to this historical event so there's the puck region plat [laughter] the vessel this is a mess an episode. I

I love it. No, I was so happy.

People are not going to even know when this ends like what they heard.

This is for me. This is not for anyone else. [laughter] So,

it's a learning podcast. Listen up everyone.

We're in education category. [laughter]

Can you imagine? We're in history.

We do do cover. We do do a lot of

32:00

history.

We do,

but we don't fact check ourselves.

Yeah. If we find like one article, [laughter] this is

Well, then also if we find something that's really exciting that like sounds good, we're like, "Yeah,

yeah, [laughter] this is why we're wearing our hats." Okay, so we have these three events all within like 15 years of each other. And then in the early 17th century, there's an uptick in activity. So just before the 30 Years War, which is basically what ended the Holy Roman Empire, just before this war, there are a crazy amount of sightings of like armies in the sky and UFO sightings and all this stuff, which begs the question. It's like, are these signs because aliens are knowing that there's about to be like a war or like a big political shift or something and so they're coming and observing us more? Or is this sort of like the energy intention and like what's happening on Earth is creating either like projections or hallucinations or just like aliens are just fighting summoning them,

right?

The more obvious conclusion

33:00

just aliens are here all the time.

Yeah. And they were fighting and they forgot to put their invisibility cloak buttons on.

They didn't realize they were being chronicled.

Yeah.

Like I thought you were just journaling about human stuff. It was literally just about two sister aliens who one of them stole their alien garb out of their sister's closet. And the other one said, "You have a big forehead."

All hell broke loose. [laughter]

And then that was the end of that.

And they fought.

They're like, "Where does my forehead even end? We don't have hair. We're aliens."

See, I am an alien. I have a big forehead.

You don't. You literally don't have a big forehead.

Like alien.

And then when you do your finger measurement, you have skinny fingers, too. [laughter] So, cuz you're an alien. I'm an alien. Like everything you're saying is [laughter] evidence that I'm an alien.

That's why they won't abduct me because I'm one of them. They're like, "Girl, we know you already.

You were sent here."

Yeah, you're doing

You're in exile.

Oh, that would make sense. It's all making sense.

Oh my gosh. Desperate to return to your

34:00

colony, banished to Earth.

Earth is the Australia of [laughter]

19 crimes. Which Which one did you commit? All 19. [laughter] Okay. My newest upgrade in life is a bet

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the theories

So, uh, was it last episode you brought up Carl Young? Yeah, I feel like

that. But it was um the mall world episode.

Okay. I was like, why did you bring up Carl Young? I'm gonna bring him up again. [laughter]

He's a Swiss psychiatrist. He published a book called Flying Saucers, a modern myth of things seen in the skies. I did not learn about that book in my psych classes.

Me neither.

In it, he analyzed this case. So, he analyzed Glazer's broad sheet alongside contemporary UFO sightings. basically saying that this is like an expression of archetypal human imagery. He

36:00

suggested that unusual celestial phenomena spoke to deep psychological needs. And now he's not saying exactly like what these objects over Nerburgg could be, but he's basically making an observation that the symbols that Glazer was talking about like the circles, the crosses, formations of four recur throughout human history as symbols of divine order, cosmic power, and transcendence. And that basically people are projecting their like psyche onto this imagery

which I believe like humans do that on on everything like even just like experiences that you have you put project your own.

Yeah. It's all interpretation cuz like can you even trust your own eyes? People see different colors like my blue is not the same as your blue.

Right.

Is this too trippy?

It is. And also is Carl a time traveler because I feel like he analyzes everything and knows.

Carl, where do you find the time? Carl, what are your see? Are you an alien? He has too much hair.

This man as he aged had a good head of hair.

I chose a photo of him from later in his

37:00

career for the YouTube.

For the YouTube for the YouTube. [laughter]

God. 33 and I'm already out of touch. You're actually very in touch because you're on TikTok. Uh, but sorry Carl, we don't believe you.

Sorry Dr. Well, I do believe that he's correct in saying that a lot of the people are projecting this like religious belief on it based on like their experiences in life. They want to think there's like a religious tie to it.

Did we need him to tell us that though?

No. But [laughter]

but I think

Tell me something I don't know.

But I think he's saying that like it might not be that, but that's what they want it to be because of their life experience.

So maybe he is saying it could be battling aliens.

I think that's what he's saying. So I agree with Carl.

Okay.

Yeah. If we just ignore the title of his book saying that flying saucers are like myths.

No, we're projecting our experience onto Carl's projecting onto other people's experiences.

This is why we get mad at philosophy teachers because how can you like

38:00

I feel like I'm speaking like a philosophical person and that it's irritating.

That one teacher would give me probably a C minus on this. [gasps]

Now I feel like [laughter]

now you're angry again. I'm going to turn into a werewolf.

Yeah. [laughter] [gasps]

Okay. So, we're going to go into our into our theories now.

Okay.

Put your tin foil hat on.

This first one.

Are you going to put it repo?

I feel like I like this side has a better the You could see the pointy more.

That is actually because that's how I shaped them.

So, this is the front.

I had technically Yeah. Do I have mine on backwards?

I don't No, no,

no. Cuz I pulled them around.

Uhhuh.

And then scrunched. Okay.

It was easier than I thought it would be. I don't know why I thought it was going to be a big project. [laughter]

Hours. These are one cheat sheeters.

Whoa.

Yeah. I thought I was going to have to build.

I feel like the

papermâché.

Wizard of Oz. [laughter]

I was going to sing and jingle and then I was like, that's not from the Wizard

39:00

of Oz at all. Okay. So, theory number one. This is the most common scientific explanation offered for the Nuremberg event. A sund dog.

[laughter]

What the [ __ ] is that?

That was my question. I was like, that feels like a conspiracy upon this whole thing. Uh, it's technically called called parhelion. Parelon. Sund dogs are optical phenomena caused by sunlight refracting through ice crystals in the atmosphere. And remember, it was April, it was damp, it was cold. And they typically appear as bright spots on either side of the sun accompanied by arcs and halos and other optical events. They're very real. They're very documented.

I've never seen

described as quite spectacular.

I'm going to look it up. Do you have a photo of

I do have a photo.

Oh, that doesn't even look anything like what

is

like it's not a bunch of shapes coming and going from the actual sun,

right?

Battling falling into smoke,

right? That looks very different.

Yeah. I feel like this cannot be

40:00

explanation [snorts]

to that to that theory. [laughter]

Okay. Yeah. So, what are you going to do when you agree? I'm gonna take my top off. [laughter]

Come to YouTube.

TS. I hate the word tits. I like can't say it normally because I don't like it.

Do you like tatas?

Tatas is Yeah, that's fine.

That's fun.

Okay, so that is one explanation. Doesn't make sense. This event said it lasted for over an hour. That's a lot of prolonged activity.

Theory number two, propaganda and sensitive messaging. So the second theory is that basically the Nermberg broad sheet that Hans created is basically like a propaganda of sorts or him trying to like

oh like someone is like using Hans to put out a message

like I guess like religious or like

Yeah. So he's being like paid by the church kind of thing.

Sure.

Or influenced in some

Yeah. influenced in some way.

So it's made up in order to sway.

He's a white man with a podcast made up [laughter] like is essentially what

41:00

they're trying to say. Okay, fair.

So basically, yeah, like the moral framing of it being a warning from God that he provided at the end where a war or like some sort of shift was perpetually imminent at that time. Things were being fractured, the reformation was happening in European civilization. So basically it was like people were desperate for signs of divine intervention or whatever if that's like God's coming to save us or God is giving us warning or whatever. So basically, people are like, "Okay, this sky battle is him expressing his anxieties that could otherwise not be like openly spoken about." So it's kind of like hidden messaging or saying like, "Okay, we got to be careful cuz like these things are happening

without just outright saying it or some sort of like religious propaganda where he's trying to like push people to believe in something." [laughter]

No.

Can you tell I've been spending a lot of time with my nieces? [laughter]

Okay. Theory number three, unknown natural phenomenon. The theory [snorts] is we don't know what happened, but that

42:00

it's natural.

Oh,

but who's to say the aliens aren't natural?

They've never been to Beverly Hills. I have never seen a [laughter] UFO visit any of those plastic.

My sister works at Adam Spa. She has not told me of any aliens coming to get

a natural. Okay, so this explanation is basically like we don't know what happened, but the atmosphere can do extraordinary things, weird things. And like I do understand this one more than I than the sund dogs one

because I feel like especially with everyone having cell phones these days with like video capabilities, we are seeing a lot more strange weather phenomena be recorded.

So like I've been seeing things online where I'm like, "Oh my god, the world is ending." And they're like, "Oh no, this is just a supercell." like things I would have never seen in my lifetime living in New England.

Sure.

But it's normal for other people or it's just like, oh wow, you got to see this like super rare event.

Yeah.

But does it really make sense for what's being described still?

I don't know.

Theory number four, extraterrestrials.

43:00

The correct one.

My tits are out. I'm just kidding.

It was aliens. Did you see the boobs? Look. Ready? [laughter]

It's like,

wait, J, put like a sensor over

[laughter]

It's like wild and out. Girls got wild.

But the sensor is actually just like another shirt. [laughter]

It's just like an emoji.

It's that shirt with like the hairy chest.

Oh man, I'm really having fun today. Thank you. [laughter]

I'm glad.

Best birthday gift ever.

Okay, but yeah, basically it's like these were aliens. In ufology, the Nuremberg event is considered one of the most significant preodern UFO cases. Well, I had like a Chicago accent for a second. Did you hear that?

Yeah, I was here for it.

And when I'm back in Chicago, I feel another version of me.

You're doing great. [laughter]

I honestly am very impressed by you

44:00

because you like perfect tone. Like you hit the notes.

Wow. Did I?

Yeah. Okay. Call me Joe.

Joe? Is that a saying? Call me Joe?

No, it's [laughter] the band.

It's the band who sings the song and also the singer Joe Ciri.

Oh, it's Joe. It's his band. It's DJ O, but it's Joe.

I don't know why he he

call me Joe.

What a Yes. And moment. [laughter]

Does anyone remember what this episode is about?

No, [laughter] but it's really fun. Oh my gosh.

If you're having fun with us, that's all that matters. Okay, so yeah, all to say UFO story important. [laughter]

It appears in foundational texts of the field of ufology and it's argued that if you strip away all the religious interpretation, you'll say they're boobs. You see tatas and wood, baby. [laughter] It was it was a sex community. Honestly, what if that is like an alien aliens

45:00

having an orgy in the sky?

Oh, interesting. What if the spacecraft themselves are the aliens?

That's exactly where my mind just went. I was like, who's to say that the crafts themselves aren't alive, right?

They get their freak on, but they got to go away from away from home in your owner's house.

It's so romantic to do it as the sun is rising.

Oh my god. Beautiful.

Yeah,

they're camping. The sun rises.

Camping on Earth. We go into the woods. They go to Earth.

Then when they finally get to where they need to be, smoke.

They like a good show.

Mhm. This makes a lot of sense. Carl, you're wrong. You're wrong about everything. Okay, so basically people are saying like if you take away all of the religious interpretive frame that Glazer put on it,

which really was just at the end.

Sure.

Like it was like four sentences at the end where he was like, "God, is that you? It's me, Margaret. [laughter]

Are you there, God?

It's me, Har.

I need some tatas. [laughter] Me likey me wanty." Um,

46:00

[laughter] but no, people are like, "Okay, he's literally describing UFOs in the sky." It's like geometric structured shapes moving with intention, engaging in what appears to be combat or or coordinated maneuvers. Like he's saying combat, but also if you think about it,

aside from them all seeming to like fall from the sky and smoke kind of in unison.

Mhm.

He didn't actually ever say that they're hitting each other. They were just like moving to and fro. Did he say crashing into one another?

Did he? Okay, let's go back. Maybe I'm wrong.

I could have been projecting my own.

He just says these all started to fight among themselves.

Okay, so yeah, it doesn't

Well, he says they vehemently fought for over an hour, but he's describing them as like flying back and forth and back and forth and them being in these like rows and shapes and whatever,

right? So it doesn't necessarily practically for their show.

Yeah. Synchronized swimming.

It's like a Disney World what their show at the end of the day.

Disney adults. aren't. Okay. Um, this feels like the episode that will never

47:00

end. [laughter]

I hope it doesn't. I'm really I'm having a good time

basically at the end. [laughter] Uh, so basically people are saying like when you take away the religious parts, a lot of what he described matches what we see today with modern UFO reports where there's spheres arranging themselves in geome geometric formations. A lot of the description of it like appearing like it interacted with the sun or came out of the sun. We see that a lot. Some sometimes the moon too, but all moving in the sky and for a prolonged period of time.

And we've also heard of a lot of encounters where like there will be one larger object and then like smaller ones will emerge out of it and then they kind of go back into the bigger one.

Yeah. We're like the mother ship. But also, if you're watching this without any understanding or like prior knowledge of alien conspiracy,

what have you been living under?

Like you might also be like, "Oh my god, are they battling? Like what are they fighting? all of these little ships are fighting this big one or like whatever. You wouldn't really know.

But people are saying, "Okay, this does

48:00

make a lot of sense.

They saw a bunch of alien spaceships and they called it god." And so I think we can conclude this episode by saying a local craftsman, Hans Glazer, and hundreds of others from his community saw UFOs at dawn. He wrote about it and now 500 years later, we are still talking about it. A historical UFO sighting that is very much real.

I love this. And also I was like thinking about it and I was like, "Oh my gosh, is this like one of the first recorded UFO sightings?" And I was like, "Maybe maybe like written down in the way that it is, but if you think about so many like even hieroglyphics like

and cave drawings and

yes, like across the world there are so many similarities, we're like what is this? Why are these like same shapes, same sort of like weird looking people? And then also in like Celtic culture it was very they would they would refer to them as faye

but people who have studied it are like they have very similar patterns and stereotypes of aliens that we talk about today.

We just don't know what aliens are.

We don't know half of the things that

49:00

are in our like in front of us. So

I don't know how an iPhone works.

Yeah. So [sighs] we don't know much at all. But uh I do know I loved this episode. [laughter]

Good. I love my hat.

Happy birthday.

Thank you.

This is your birthday hat.

Thank you. This It's like the best birthday hat.

Oh, I should have put a pom pom on top.

Oh, this is perfect. [laughter] I wouldn't change a thing. Okay.

I wouldn't change a thing. You're perfect.

Finally, I actually followed through with something. We talked about tin foil hats for years.

Really? We've been talking about them a lot. Um, I do have a listener story.

listener story

Great. About aliens. Our listener's name is Kira and it's called Alien Abduction and a paranormal experience one with picture.

Hello girls.

One with picture.

One with well it doesn't say it like that. I wrote I just [laughter]

I just read it wrong and then I was trying to make up. It literally says alien abduction/ paranormal experiences with picture proof. And I don't know why I had to change it.

One with picture.

One with picture. Hello. I am Hans and

50:00

Karina is Joe. [laughter]

Call me Joe.

Call me Joe. Joe. Hello girls. It's a pleasure to be able to write to you. I'm relatively [laughter] that was written weird said from you.

Oh,

and I'm a relatively new viewer with some insane experiences of my own. You're welcome to say my name and all included because I've already changed them for privacy. I'm now 23, but these stories take place over the course of my life. I still live in the same house that these stories take place in. We are located in southeast Indiana about an hour away from Kentucky, so pretty rural. I live in the country about 15 minutes from the nearest town and across the yard. My grandparents are they live like right across. Oh, I love that. I'm also the dead middle out of seven children. Seven children. I will refer to a lot of siblings. Sorry to confuse you.

I feel like when people talk about like being a middle child, I often think about like, okay, well, there's like three or four kids, right? cuz there's you can easily have like the oldest

51:00

personality, the the youngest, and then like one or two in the middle. But when it's seven, like how does that even

how do you identify personalitywise?

I don't know. Also, did you know the middle child is dying out?

It is.

Yeah, cuz more people are having less children.

Oh, interesting.

Yeah. And so like if you have one or two children, there's no middle child. So I'm rare. I'm a rare species.

You are a middle child alien creature. [clears throat] [laughter] Okay, some backstory on the land we live on and our evil neighbor. So, in the early 2000s, my grandparents decided to buy a small house on about 100 acres of land and sold my mom, the other half, for a dollar so her and my dad could build a house for her expanding family just across the yard.

So nice.

So nice. They did and we moved in about a year after I was born in 2002. After the house was built, my mother discovered that our nearest neighbor, her husband and son used to occupy my grandparents' home. And the story is dark, so content warning for violence. The wife had shot her husband in the

52:00

woods of our property and her son took the blame, resulting in him going to prison.

Whoa.

I don't know the details of why or what.

Shoot. That's what I wanted to know.

Or what has happened since because that woman is

like, how old was the son when he took?

I don't know. But since she lived in the house down the road from us, we'd see her talking to trees and generally doing odd things whenever we drove by. We just called her crazy and moved on with it. But I genuinely think there's something more sinister that went on with that woman. The fact that everyone knows that her son took the blame for it and she's just

And also, how do you let your child take the blame?

No, I have no idea.

It's a hard question cuz like what what is the reason that she even shot?

Yeah.

But anyway, we have free roaming dogs since we live in the country and she has even I'm not going to read the specifics, but she has harmed multiple of Kira's dogs. Um, after this experience, we began throwing trash in her yard. Looking back, that's when things really got weird for me. And this

53:00

began around 2008, but my mom has had other experiences before this. I'm pretty sure that woman has since passed within the last 3 years due to different cars that occupy the driveway now, so they think that they have passed. Okay, that's context for these stories. So, first story, sleepwalking/alien abduction. When I was young, I used to sleepwalk from as young as I can remember. Like every single night, and it didn't stop until about seventh grade. I would fall asleep in my bed and wake up on my mother's floor next to her bed in the morning. Our rooms were right next to each other on the second floor, and I never harmed myself in the process, so we didn't really get too concerned. But there were nights my mother says I would kneel on my bed in the dead of the night and stare out the window next to the side of my bed. And looking back, I remember this. Like I remember staring out the window, disassociating heavily and seeing figures or animals in the night, but I don't really know much more beyond that. The most notable instance is when I sleptwalked outside. I don't know all the details because I was asleep,

54:00

[laughter] but my mother recounts one night I woke her up completely disheveled in my night gown. I was barefoot with grass on my feet, glassy eyed, telling her that someone had broken into the house. She shook my dad awake and ran downstairs to see the front door wide open. It was summer/fall and a little chilly out but not freezing. That part I do remember. She then woke up my two older brothers and my papa who went outside with my dad scouring our land in cornfields which were pretty tall across the road with flashlights and hunting rifles. They found nothing. My mom tried to ask me what happened, but I had no clue because I was asleep. But keep in mind, I would have had to walk down a flight of stairs out the front door, unlock the deadbolt, walk down the concrete steps off my porch and into a lawn to have achieved all of this. But truly, nobody knows what happened and no one knows how long I was outside. Just thank goodness you got back.

Having grass in your feet like she was clearly outside. It's so freaky. And then also to have like little bits of memory where you're like, "No, no, no. I know that this actually like something happened.

It's not just your family telling you

55:00

something crazy happened." And you're like, "Oh, that's so weird, but I don't feel right anything about it." But like knowing bits and pieces makes it so [laughter] much more

so creepy. That was the catalyst for every paranormal experience I've had since then because before this instance, I really don't have any odd memories aside from disassociating out the window and sleepwalking, which are both pretty big. But my mom believes that I was abducted by aliens. And after listening to her theorize about what happened while I was outside the house, I have had one memory resurface. The memory is literally just white. Like clinically white.

Ew.

When I think back on it, I see a blinding white ceiling and blinding white lights above me. And so I don't know if this is something I fabricated in my mind or if it's a memory of I've unlocked. I don't know. But what I do know is that my mother has had experiences with aliens in her childhood home and has been stalked by aliens for years. According to her and her theories, they follow women from the same lineage for whatever reason. So I don't know. Is this a good time to say I have a crippling fear of aliens now?

56:00

Like when I drive at night, I constantly check the time to make sure I haven't lost any and that I know where I am. pictures, videos, stories, anything including them makes me this really uncomfortable and full of fear to the point where I will actually start freaking out. So maybe Kira won't listen to this episode. Well, and also it's one thing to be told by your parent like, "Yeah, something really weird happened that night and there's no other explanation that we can think of aside from aliens." It's another thing to add on top of that, oh, this is a problem that everyone in your familial line has had issues with and like your children will be abducted, you're abducted, your grandchildren will be abducted. Well, I want to know more about her mom's experiences because clearly she's seeing a similarity

in Kira.

Huh. I wonder if with Kira's abduction if her mom's abduction stopped.

So, I was like, "Oh, what if they got abducted together?" But no, because Kier's mom remembers things about that

that night

night and was like helping Kira.

That's how it stopped. So, you have to have offspring.

Kind of messed up.

Super messed up. That' be a good movie. [laughter]

What are you going to name it? The Offspring. And it's actually about

57:00

generational trauma and passing it on.

Oh, I like this. You should write it.

I don't have time. [laughter] Okay. So, after that last story, sometime later, I was sleeping on my mom's floor about 9 to 10 years old when I woke up out of my sleep and I felt a weird sensation at my feet. I can't explain it. It was like an energy or a knowing that something was there. So, I lay on my back and I look up. There was a girl a little older than my younger sister. So, she looked about like seven or eight years old standing at my feet. She was wearing a white night gown down to her shins with pitch black hair. I don't remember being able to see her face, and I don't think her hair was completely covering it, but her features looked like they had been blurred. I called out to this girl, thinking maybe it was my sister, but no response. I called out to it maybe as if it was a friend. Again, no response. I was immediately full of fear and I instinctually turned to my side, covered my head with a blanket, and cried myself to sleep. My older sister would go on to tell me years later that she had a very

58:00

similar experience in the room that I ended up moving into in high school. So, there's a little ghost girl in this house. Okay, now this has a picture. It's called Alien Experience with pictures. So, my younger sister, who I will refer to as A, adopted the same room I just mentioned in the story before this. When I had entered high school and got my own room in the basement, I left this room and she had it for herself. She had many paranormal experiences like she was pushed, scratched, touched, saw things, the whole nine yards. But this is an alien encounter. She was about 15. I was away in college living in a dorm about an hour away when one night she sent me a text. It was a picture of a snap that she had taken for streaks to send to her friends. But there was something circled her window. I thought, hm, that's weird. It looks like fog. But then I raised the exposure on the picture and there is no doubt in my mind that whatever is circled in the picture is some type of alien or crypted or I don't know. I posted it on Reddit and of course got hit with comments accusing me of Photoshop and question me why my sister would take a picture of just half her face. But I don't know. She's 15. She

59:00

likes Snapchat. I don't get it. But that's what she's doing. Beats me. I promise on everything I love that this picture is unfortunately authentic. In the picture, you can clearly see two eyes, the top of its head, some type of beak or pointy mouth, and shoulders. And I mean clearly. You're more than welcome to put up the visual if you'd like. And mind you, that room, like I said, is on the second story above our garage, at least 15 ft from the concrete driveway. So, there's no way someone would be able to stand with a like Yeah.

Oh, sorry. I already opened the photo. That's an alien.

It's weird. Like, and I know there's

paridolia,

which like cuz in the first photo it just looks like a weird lighting thing, right? But then, yes, when you put the exposure up, it looks so much like a forehead, eyes, nose, mouth.

It's like you can see the neck and the shoulder and then the curve of the shoulder down into the arm and the very left hand like

where do you see the shoulder? That

right here. It goes down. Yeah, but the

1:00:00

eyes are like right where the bar in the window is.

Yes.

I don't know.

It is very scary.

Yeah,

but that's from Kira.

Oh my gosh.

I mean, based on all of Kira's experiences, it's very clear there is something or something

Yeah.

haunting the family. And if it's true that aliens visit every woman in the family line, why not watch all of the women in the family sleep?

Oh, it's so creepy. I keep zooming in. What are windows except for TV screens for aliens? [laughter]

Little peeping peeping toms.

Yeah.

Okay.

Happy birthday to me.

Happy birthday to you. Aliens. Aliens. Aliens. Are you a little envious of Kira's experience or does it make you happy that you didn't encounter these ones?

Envy. I'm sick with it. Green with it.

Like Kira's guaranteed to experience aliens basically. Sounds like

Do you think it would work if like Kira adopted me? Does that count?

Oh, interesting. Kira, can you call

1:01:00

start calling Sabrina sister?

Sister.

Sister. See if it does anything.

I don't know. I think I just want I'm in a phase of my life where I'm doing things for the plot too a little bit. And like for the plot beyond like my love for aliens and like also my desire to leave this [ __ ] hole behind. [laughter]

Happy birthday. Make your final wish. [laughter] leave the shower.

I feel like an alien encounter would be is a welcomed plot point.

Yeah. I just feel like you haven't truly thought about all the possibilities of what the aliens

girl. I've been through I've been through weird [ __ ] in life. I I have trauma.

So, you're trying to add more on.

I've dealt with the past stuff, so I need new new trauma [laughter]

and ones that you can't ask to like go to therapy with cuz like

No, that's great. I don't want a boyfriend right now. [laughter] talking about boyfriends. I just mean like, you know, like if you if you go through like a one night stand

1:02:00

with an alien like

Okay. All right. So, it comes down to sex with

No, no, no, sorry. I mean like a one night visitation. I I put a sexual term, but it doesn't need to be sex.

Okay.

Yeah. Like

if something horrible happens, you're going to be you're going to be cool with dealing with that and not being able to confront who hurt you or what hurt you.

I can always confront what hurt me. They don't need to be

Oh, look at that. She's been therapized. [laughter] Check. You're ready for abduction.

I'm ready for abduction.

That's what they were waiting for. [laughter]

Please don't drag me to therapy. That's all the aliens.

I can't go through it again. [laughter] I did it with all the past abductees.

Therapy is good for you. No, I think um I'd be annoying to them. I really would.

You just be so excited to be there.

Yeah.

They'd be like, "God, stop smiling at me all the time." And you're just like [laughter] be like, "Wait, okay, so what? How do you eat? Like, can I touch you in the bathroom?

Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah. [laughter]

1:03:00

I have so many questions.

Oh man.

Damn. I might need more than one night. [laughter]

You might need a lifetime.

They watch us sleep. Like in Kira's story. Like that's unfair. I want to watch them sleep.

Right. It should be a two-way

a two-way window. [laughter]

You touch hands through the glass. Actually, that would be fun. Is that like I go to Kira's house, go to that window and at night when they're there, I put my head up there and

you just do the night shift now.

Yeah,

you got to get nocturnal, I think.

No, that I think that's my qual.

Yeah,

I'm asleep by the time they're [gasps and sighs] abducted. Although, they abduct people from their sleep. So, true.

I'm I sleep a lot,

you know. I don't know why. I don't know why you're not You're the perfect person to abduct.

I volunteer. This is my audition tape.

We leave it to you.

This is my audition tape to Aliens. Why? Just give us an answer. Why? Why? Why not?

I'll slip a note. Do you want to go on a date? Yes or no? Circle one.

You're going to write in maybe. And then you're be ah

that's worse.

That's

I just want like a

certainty.

1:04:00

Let me know.

Is it going to happen or is it not?

Cuz if it's not, then I'll stop thinking about it.

She'll move on to Bigfoot like me.

Yeah, sure. [laughter] It is funny though cuz I was like I feel like in all of my adult years, like all of the things I've done is has been with someone else and like you're my person, you know? Like I do things with you. So, like the idea of like doing things by myself scares me. So, like

I would have more confidence getting abducted by aliens if you were with me.

I'd be [ __ ] myself

and then they'd put out a bucket and watch me [ __ ]

I think I'm brave when I'm with other people. When I'm by myself, I'm not as brave.

Interesting.

Yeah. Working on it. [sighs and gasps]

Well, let's work on all of this. I'm like I have real fear in my heart because I feel like you saying that means that now I have to like when you get abducted, they're going to come. Maybe that's why they haven't abducted me yet because they're they're like, "You're so No,

that other girl is."

So, I need to I need to continue working on myself.

Yeah. Is there a weight limit for being abducted? I'm curious.

It's like a roller coaster. Like, you must be this tall.

Wait, I've been So, I I text

Were you going to Google? Is there a weight limit for abduction? [laughter]

1:05:00

No, but I text Christian, my brother sometimes. My weight.

You text your brother? Oh, sometimes. Okay, now I get it. Well, because last time I got pregnant, I was so excited to go over to like hit the 200 lb mark, and he was telling me how far away I was from Dwayne the Rock Johnson. So, now this pregnancy, 200 lb was a while ago. [laughter]

But I texted him how much I weighed and he said, "You're 83 Dwayne the Rock Johnson's. I might make it to 100."

Wow. That's why I asked about the weight limit cuz it's not going to be like your your light is going to come down. You're going to zip up. Mine's going to be And then you're going to drop me a few feet. They literally abduct they abduct cows. Karin

Noah does call me. [laughter]

So, um, we just want to keep chatting. But, uh, I guess we got to go.

We We'll do it again on another episode. So, we'll see you see you in a day or two or three or four, however many days between episodes. We love you all. Please email us your encounters. If you know why aliens don't want me, please

1:06:00

let me know.

Kindly,

kindly in a nice way. In regards, Sabrina, email us at two girls onego podcast@gmail.com. You can join us on Patreon for episodes one weekly and ad free, plus bonus content, plus campfire stories, plus book club, plus witch clubs, plus stickers. So many fun things.

Wow, that's a lot. Yeah,

we do that. Crazy.

Crazy.

Thank you, Jamie. [laughter] That was creepy. Sorry. And thank you, Jamie Ryan, for editing and producing our podcast. [laughter]

We love all of you and we will see you on the other side. Very spooky.